Counseling Sessions
by Schnickledooger
Summary: In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses of temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK characters are forced to do the same. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which complete chaos insues.
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer:** I do not own **Dragon Knights**, Mineko Ohkami does.

**Title: Counseling Sessions**

**Summary: **In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses in temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK members are forced to forgo the same treatment. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which, complete chaos occurs.

**Ch.1**. **In Which Rune Has A Breakdown-er…_Breakthrough_**

"And how does that make you _feel_, Rune?"

_Damn Thatz!_ Rune seethed, _Damn Thatz to a thousand fiery hells and an eternity without food or treasure! _The elf scrunched lower in his seat, crossed his arms over his chest and proceeded to glare daggers at the person to whom he was being subjected to such magnanimous torture.

"You're being very negative, Rune," came the sickly sweet voice again, "Remember what we discussed about negativity?"

_Twitch_, went of the elf's veins in his head as it popped out.

"One should never keep all that negativity inside oneself. It can create a buildup of resentful emotions, which will eventually break through the dam keeping it in, and cause the person to do or say things they _may_ regret," the irritating, calming voice explained.

Silence. Rune merely kept up his act of drilling a hole through the insufferable man with his eyes. If he was hinting at the something the elf _thought_ he was hinting at and seeking an explanation or repentance, he could _FORGET_ it!

His therapist took his silence as an indecision of what to do.

"Rune, Rune, Rune," the alchemist sighed shaking his head in a way that infuriated the elf more, "It is quite alright to feel stressed out. A Dragon Knight's job is never easy, and sometimes…when the pressure gets to be too much for oneself…" here the Yokai paused as if searching for the most delicate way to approach the situation, "One often…loses control. Isn't that right, Rune?"

_Twitch_, went another vein in the elf's head as he realized he was still very angry over the recent incident. That and the fact of hearing his name spoken by the alchemist in every other sentence annoyed him to no end.

However, what came out of the therapist's lips next, sent Rune hurtling completely off the edge.

"But one must sometimes admit that it is not always others who are at fault. Sometimes, the person, themselves…are the ones who bring the occasion upon them. They simply do not want to admit that they are…totally inept."

That did it. Restraint flung to into the wind…again.

Rune leaped out of the too-soft chair to scream at the frustrating Yokai, "ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT ALL THOSE INCOMPOTENT PEOPLE HAVE MORE COMMON SENSE THAN ME! _I'M_ THE RATIONAL ONE! THE VOICE OF REASON-NOT THEM: **MR. I-NEED-FOOD-EVERY-LIVING-MINUTE-OF-EVERY-SINGLE-DAY-OR-I'LL-DIE-AND-DON'T-FORGET-TREASURE-TOO** AND **MR. I-SEE-DEMONS-EVERYWHERE-INCLUDING-SOME-POOR-PERSON'S-CHICKEN**! _INEPT!_ I'M NOT EVEN THE ONE WHO SHOULD _BE_ HERE! _I'M LEAVING!"_

"Sit, Rune," came the alchemist's unscathed reply, and Rune, who was in the process of storming towards the door with the intent of tearing it off his hinges, was yanked backwards by an invisible force and thrown back into the chair quite strongly.

The elf found that he couldn't be a muscle and was locked in place, and gaped at the Yokai who was smiling rather amusedly at him as he tucked back a small pouch of ash into the folds of his cloak.

"Now, Rune," Kharl said readying his notepad with a large feathery pen, "I find its always good to relive the moments that bother us the most. It helps sort out the reasons we feel a certain way about things. Why don't we take a little trip back through your memories and see get the bottom of all this stress. I'm sure this will help ameliorate your feelings immensely."

Actually what the elf was sure of that would help ameliorate his feelings was if he had been able to bash in the crazy therapist's smile until it was unrecognizable and throttle Thatz into oblivion. This was all his fault anyway!

"Well, Rune," came the alchemist's voice using his name in that infuriating way again, "Are you going to let me know what's going on and share with them the newest addition of your little escapades?"

_Twitch,_ went yet another vein in the elf's forehead as he struggled to get free of his invisible bonds.

"You know, Rune, obstinence is another area of interest we could delve into-"

"NO!" the elf shrieked, feeling his blood pressure shoot sky-high of the though of listening for another hour of the Yokai's ramblings in an attempt to "cure him" of "stress issues".

Kharl merely raised an eyebrow and waited.

"FINE!" Rune screeched, swearing silently to hack Thatz into a tiny million pieces after this session was over, "I'M HERE, YOU DERANGED ALCHEMIST, ALL BECAUSE THATZ DECIDED TO OPEN HIS ALL-TOO BIG, LOUD MOUTH TO THE DRAGON LORD ABOUT HOW 'STRESSED-OUT' I AM OVER WELL…_EVERYTHING_-WHICH I MOST DEFINITELY AM NOT! AND THE ONLY REASON **MR. HE-WHO-THINKS-WITH-HIS-STOMACH** FORMED THAT OPINION WAS BECAUSE OF OUR LAST ROAD TRIP OVER DUSIS!"

The alchemist simply smiled at the elf and raised an eyebrow as a gesture to continue.

"LIKE I SAID _BEFORE_," Rune roared, his blood pressure rising to his head in a rather quick and fierce manner, "_I'M_ THE ONE WHO THINKS RATIONALLY! MY SO-CALLED COLLEAGUES DO NOT THINK AT ALL!THERE WE WERE, ON THE WAY TO THE DRAGON CASTLE _AFTER SEVERAL LONG DETOURS_, I MIGHT ADD! THEN THATZ SEES AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR A COMPETION IN WHICH THE VICTOR WINS _TWIN GOLDEN BLADES_! SO, OF COURSE, HE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO MY REASONING AND DRAGGED ME AND RATH OFF TO THE STUPID TOWN WHERE THE TOURNAMENT WAS BEING HELD! AND WHEN WE GET THERE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE TOURNAMENT TURNS OUT TO BE!"

Kharl's smile widened. The Yokai had a feeling he was going to love what was coming next.

"_IT WAS A BEAUTY PAGEANT!" _the elf shrieked, his eyes glazing over in a fiery red and little flecks a spit flying out of his mouth in his fury. If he hadn't been tied down to his seat by invisible bonds, he would have jumped up and raced off to plan the Earth Dragon Knight's doom, " THEY HAD EVERY SINGLE GIRL IN THE TOWN COMPETEING FOR THOSE DUMB GOLDEN BLADES!"

The alchemist frowned, altering back to his therapist mode, "I fail to see why girls would be interested in winning weapons."

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" Rune screeched, "I TRIED TO MAKE THATZ SEE SOMETHING WAS UP, BUT DID HE LISTEN! NOOOOOOOOOOO! INSTEAD HE ENROLLS ME INTO THE BLOODY THING! AND WHEN I ASK HIM WHY HE DIDN'T ENROLL HIMSELF AND RATH TOO, HE SAYS THEY'D NEVER MAKE IT, AND I'M A NATURAL! IT'LL COME EASY TO ME! _'THOSE OTHER BROADS WILL BE FLATTENED BY MY GORGEOUS, FEMINIME APPEAL'!"_

"I see," Kharl said settling back in his chair, scribbling what looked like a few notes on his pad, but really he was drawing doodles of a Dragon Knight clothed in a dress. Only this Dragon Knight didn't have light-colored hair, but dark.

Rune, oblivious, raved on, "SO I ENTERED THE BLASTED TOURNAMENT JUST TO GET IT OVER WITH AND TO PROVE TO THATZ THAT THERE ARE _OTHER_ PEOPLE OUT THERE PRETTIER THAN ME! UNFORTUNATELY THE JUDGES DIDN'T SEEM TO THINK THAT, AND I WON! OF COURSE, THEY MAY HAVE MADE THAT DECISION DUE TO THATZ PROMISING THEM A NIGHT WITH ME IF I WON!THAT _GLUTTONOUS, SELF-CENTERED, GREEDY, THEIVING_ _JERK_!"

"Mmm," was the only response of the Yokai as he added wings and a halo to his doodle of the dark-haired Dragon Knight.

"SO ANYWAY, I WON THE STUPID COMPETION, AND THATZ IS ESTATIC WE'LL GET THE GOLDEN BLADES, AND RATH IS MOPING AROUND 'CAUSE HE'S BORED, AND I'M JUST HAPPY THAT WE CAN FINALLY LEAVE, BUT THEN THE JUDGES THROW THE BOMB! THE TWIN GOLDEN BLADES ARE ACTUALLY SCIZORS AND HAPPEN TO BE OWNED BY THIS GIANT ORGE WHO LIVES OUTSIDE THE CITY AND THE REAL REASON WHY ONLY GIRLS COULD COMPETE IN THE TOURNAMENT WAS BECAUSE THE CREATURE LIKED TO PRACTICE HIS BARBERING SKILLS ON THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HEAD OF HAIR! AND THE TOWNSPEOPLE LET HIM 'CAUSE THEY WERE AFARID OD WHAT HE WOULD DO IF THEY DIDN'T!"

"Oh dear," the alchemist stated without looking up, being very involved with his doodle, which now consisted of the dark-haired Dragon Knight walking on a cloud with a one- winged creature next to him.

"I WAS ALL UP FOR REVEALING THE SCAM AND FLEEING, BUT THATZ WAS INSISTENT HE GET THOSE GOLDEN SHEARS AND HOW 'WE'RE DRAGON KNIGHTS! WE CAN TAKE HIM!'! AND RATH AS ALL FOR IT TOO, SEEING AS HOW HE GOT TO BATTLE A DEMON!" the elf seethed, scowling at the bad memories.

"I see. Tell me more," Kharl said, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he bent over his drawing added details to the characters.

"SO I WAS LEAD OUTSIDE THE TOWN, UP A HILL, AND TIED TO A GOSHDARN _TREE!_" Rune bellowed, reverently wishing for the umpteenth time that he was free and capable of hacking Thatz into a bazillion pieces, "THE JUDGES HAD IT IN MIND THAT I WOULD TRY TO RUN AWAY AND THATZ WAS ALL FOR USING ME AS BAIT, SO HE AND RATH COULD SNEAK UP ON THE MONSTER UNSUSPECTINGLY!"

"How awful," the Yokai commented not really listening, as he sat back and gazed at his doodle and started to daydream about the scene in the picture.

"SO I WAITED THERE, FULLY CONFIDENT THAT MY COLLEAGUES WOULD COME TO MY AID IN TIME, AND WHEN THE HUGE BRUTE FINALLY SHOWS UP WITH THE SCIZORS, DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY WERE!"

The alchemist was roughly pulled out of wonderful daydream, which consisted of the dark-haired Dragon Knight and himself dancing among the clouds in the sky to the tune of Sleepy Beauty, by the elf's shrill, outraged voice.

"Oh, um…what?" Kharl asked, blinking himself back to reality and not remembering a thing the Water Dragon Knight had said.

Rune, not realizing his therapist had not been listening to him at all, answered his own question, "THEY WERE AT THE BLOODY TAVERN CHUGGING DOWN SO MANY DRINKS THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE DRANK POISON AND GAMBLING ALL OUR HARD-EARNED MONEY AWAY! IN THE MEANTIME, I'M TIED TO THE FREAKIN' TREE, WHILE THE BLASTED ORGE STYLES MY HAIR!"

"Oh," the alchemist says, this time his mid truly focusing on the problem, "Is that why-"

He was cut off by the enraged elf's shrieks, "YES, THAT'S WHY MY HAIR IS A MESS, UNEVEN AND BALDING! AND YES, THAT'S THE REASON WHEN I GOT FREE, I KNOCKED OUT THE ORGE WITH MY BARE HANDS, SNATCHED UP THOSE GOLDEN SHEARS AND RACED BACK TO THE BLOODY TOWN TO GIVE EVERYONE THE SAME HAIRDO! THATZ CAN'T COMPLAIN! HE DIDN'T GET ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT! I DID THE SAME THING TO EVERYONE!"

"Everyone?" Kharl asked in a faint-hearted voice, "The other Dragon Knight as well?"

The Yokai held his breath baitedly.

Rune scowled, "No! After the first drink, he passed out. He can't handle alcohol very well. It wasn't really his fault."

The alchemist let out a sigh of relief.

"THATZ, ON THE OTHER HAND, CAN STEAL RIGHT UNDER A KING'S NOSE WHILE INTOXICATED! THERE WAS NO REASON NOT TO BEAT THAT BEAST WHILE HE WAS DRUNK! SO I GAVE HIM HIS JUST DESERTS AND HE COULDN'T HANDLE IT!" the elf yelled, "SO WHEN WE FINALLY ARRIVED AT THE PALACE, HE GOES WHINING TO THE DRAGON LORD ABOUT HOW 'STRESSED OUT' I AM AND HOW I 'CAN'T TAKE A JOKE'! DO YOU KNOW LORD LYKUELON ACTUALLY FOUND THE WHOLE SITUATION AMUSING! HE EVEN SIDED WITH THAT LAZY LOUSE!"

"Oh, you must feel very betrayed," Kharl said, not doubting Rune's word for a minute. The Dragon Lord always took something from people. Whether it was their trust or one they had affections for.

"YOU BET I DO, POOF-HEAD!" the elf shouted and the alchemist raised both eyebrows and sweatdropped.

" 'I must agree that Thatz is right. You're stressed, Rune, and it's showing'", the Water Dragon Knight mimicked Lykuleon's words, " 'I think it would be best if you saw someone'".

"I see," the Yokai said in therapist mode again, "And…how does that make you feel?"

Silence.

_Twitch_, went another little vein in the elf's forehead.

"UPSET!" Rune screamed, struggling anew at his invisible bonds, "LOOK, I'VE BEEN IN HERE LONG ENOUGH! IT'S BEEN GREAT, _REALLY_! BUT NOW, COULD YA LET ME GO SO I CAN _KILL_ THATZ ALREADY!"

"You seem to be harboring great resentment for your co-workers, Rune," Kharl stated, that irritating smile of his creeping back on his face.

"_NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!"_ the elf wailed suddenly, self-pity replacing his anger, "THEY ALL THINK I'M TOO UPTIGHT AND SHOULD LEARN TO RELAX AND TAKE IT EASY! I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN! DON'T THEY REALIZE IT'S ALL A MATTER OF PERSONAL OPINION! THEY'RE FINE WITH LAYING BACK WHEN NOTHING NEEDS TO BE DONE! I _LIKE_ TO BE BUSY ALL THE TIME! I THINK IT'S A WASTE OF LIFE TO BE BORED AND DO NOTHING! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LET ME BE! I DON'T GET ON THEM WHEN THEY'RE LAZING!"

Silence.

The Yokai stared hard at the elf.

And raised an eyebrow.

And smiled even wider at him.

"ALLRIGHT!FINE!" Rune hissed, " SO I JUMP ON THEIR BACKS TO GET TO WORK AND QUIT GOOFING OFF! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT! ALFEEGI TOTALLY AGREES WITH ME!"

"Very well, Rune," Kharl decided suddenly, "I'll let you leave-"

The elf's heart leapt for joy.

"_If_-" the therapist added.

The elf's stomach plummeted.

"You give me compliments for everyone in the Palace," the alchemist finished with relish.

Rune gaped at him for several moments. Then, "JUST WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO PROVE ANYWAY!"

"_That_, my dear elf," the Yokai smiled, holding up a finger, "Is up to you. Perhaps, in thinking of nice things to say about people, you will believe them, thus bringing your stress level down."

" FOR THE LAST TIME, _I DO NOT HAVE A STRESS LEVEL_!" Rune screeched.

Kahrl merely smiled, leaned back in his seat, and spoke a name, "Lykuleon."

The elf blinked, then realized he was supposed to give a compliment. Normally, the Dragon Lord would have been easy for him, but he was still slightly irked that he had sided with Thatz. Nevertheless, he tried hard to think up something nice.

"He…er, is a kind, just ruler…and uh…always tries to do the right thing."

When his therapist smiled, the elf realized he had dug himself into a deeper hole by admitting indirectly that he was supposed to get therapy. Rune glared at the Yokai.

"Tetheus," Kharl named next.

Rune sweatdropped and grappled desperately at anything that came into his mind.

"Ah…um…he…never speaks until spoken to or unless it is necessary?"

"Ruwalk," the alchemist shot out.

"He…er…is in touch with his inner child," the elf said sweatdropping, remembering the man's fastidious obsession with his teddy-bear, Goo-bah.

"Alfeegi."

Rune had no problem whatsoever with that name, "OOH!" he gushed, "HE IS MY IDOL! THE WAY HE MAINTAINS ORDER WITH HIS _MERE PRESENCE_! I _LOVE_ THE WAY HE INTIMIDATES EVERYONE!I WANNA BE JUST LIKE HIM!"

Kharl sweatdropped, coughed, and moved on hurriedly, "Kai-stern."

"The man is _cool_. 'Nuff said," the elf said with ease. This was getting to be fun!

"Raseleane."

"She is a ruler who loves everyone and not herself. She is always thinking of others."

"Kitchel."

"She is determined to reach her goal. Nothing can stand in her way," Rune stated. _I bet she'd kill Nadil in one strike if he was in the way of treasure! Heh, maybe we should hide some in his castle and set her lose!_

"Cesia."

"She calms Rath down," was the nicest thing that came to Rune's mind. He couldn't very well say she seems like a normal person when her alter ego isn't always taking over!

"Rath," the Yokai said in a very odd-sounding voice. Was it just him, or did Kharl look a little too eager?

"Rath is…uh…" Rune was going to say that Rath was a little crazy and acted like a baby sometimes, yet nevertheless was a great demon-mutilating machine that got the job done, however, the elf had the feeling if he said that, the alchemist might just pull out his pouch of ash and turn him into a toad, regardless of the truce he and Lykuleon had made when he had filled in for the job of the therapist.

"Rath has been like a little brother to me, and I'll always protect him," Rune wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not, but the Yoaki looked pleased.

Then leaning forward, the poofy-haired therapist said, grinning like a Cheshire cat, "Thatz."

The elf's blood boiled over, "THATZ IS A EGOTISTICAL, COVETOUS, GREEDY BUFFOON!"

"Now, Rune," Kharl admonished chiding, "That was not very nice. Remember, you're trying to think of compliments, not insults."

_Twitch_, went another vein in the elf's head.

"Here, Rune," the alchemist said, taking out a quill, various pots of colored ink and some parchment. He set them all on a tray, then handed placed it on the elf's lap, "I'd like you to draw me a picture that represents your feelings about Thatz."

"And that's supposed to help me?" the elf inquired incredulously.

"Why, yes," the Yokai answered confidently, smiling as he remembered his doodle of earlier.

Rune glared down at the blank sheet in front of him.

"Go on," Kharl urged.

Rune made a few angry lines across the paper.

"Remember you can leave after this,' the alchemist reminded him.

The elf quickly scribbled a picture with a flourish.

"There," he thrust the parchment back into his therapist's hands.

The Yokai stared at it, "Oh…Rune, you've drawn a…pig."

"It's a hog," the elf corrected, "That's what Thatz is."

"I see," Kharl said and stared at the picture a bit more, "And why is the pig-er-_hog_ wearing a crown?"

"Because he's the king of hogs."

"Is that because you see him that way or is that just how he is?"

"That's just how he is," Rune stated, crossing his arms.

"Hmmm," the alchemist murmured, "And this girl in the background next to the giant bonfire with the stick?"

"Kitchel," the elf revealed, "She's gonna cook him and eat hot dogs."

The Yokai raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Rune said, "She's do it in a heartbeat, if it was possible! So…can I go now?"

Kharl was silent for a few minutes, then looked up with an evil smile. Tossing the his pad and the picture away, he leaned forward and questioned, "You've been here a long while, haven't you, Rune?"

"Yes," the elf said.

"You are really angry at Thatz, aren't you, Rune?"

"Yes!"

"You hate it that no one understands you, don't you, Rune?"

"YES!"

"Want to get back at them and make them suffer, Rune?"

"YE-wait," the elf paused, "You're not gonna hurt anyone, are you?"

"Let's just say that they'll be subjected to the same kind of treatment _you_ have today!" the Yokai giggled.

Rune leaned forward too, and asked in a hushed breath, "Are you saying what I hope you saying?"

"Yes, Rune," Kharl smiled, "Counseling sessions…for _everyone_."

The Dragon Knight and alchemist stared at each other in silence for several seconds, before throwing their heads back and laughing insanely:

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Outside the closed doors, Thatz paled drastically as he heard the maniacal laughter ringing out through the Castle.

_They're scheming something!_ He thought in terror, _Damn, I'm in trouble!_

**TO BE CONTINUED**:eerie haunting music plays in background:

* * *

**A/N: I figured I'd do chapters with all the characters in DK, including the Yokai! O.k, next chapter: THATZ AND KITCHEL! Please share your fav parts, thanx!  
**


	2. Inferiority Complex

**Disclaimer:** I do not own **Dragon Knights, **Mineko Ohkami does.

**Title: Counseling Sessions **

**Summary:** In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses of temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK members are forced to do the same. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which complete chaos insues.

**A/N: Bold parentheses with a number inside indicate a footnote which is explained at the bottom.**

**Ch.2. In Which Thatz Suffers From An Inferiority Complex, Kitchel Is Unfazed, And A Certain Alchemist's Assistant Learns The Basics Of Psycholoy.**

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!"

"OH, NO! YOU ARE _SO_ ON TARGET, MR. KHARL-SAN!"

"WHY DON'T YOU SHADDUP, YOU BACKSTABBER! JUST WAIT TILL HE GETS TO YOU!"

Garfakcy stood and stared at the scene, his mind reeling. He had expected his master to return after counseling the Dragon Tribe's elf. It had been quite a shock to him to receive the message that Kharl would be staying at the palace for several more days with more counseling sessions. Though, he suspected it had something to do with that dark-haired Dragon Knight his master obsessed so much about. Garfakcy had come quickly to the castle to make sure that the alchemist would finish his job, then leave for home as soon as possible. He had expected to be bored out of his mind.

He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

If this session was as out of control as the previous one, he was glad he had missed the elf''s.

"LISTEN UP, YA OVERGROWN, BIG-HAIRED, GRINNING IDIOT-!"

Garfakcy bristled, wishing his contract with the Dragon Lord was null. How _dare_ that scar-faced Dragon Knight speak to his master like that! If he could, he would teach him some manners!

"I DO NOT HAVE_ AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX!"_ **(1) **the ex-thief screamed, his face turning as red as his hair.

Kharl smiled(as usual) and said, "Then why are you so defensive of the fact?"

Thatz's face turned purple as he jumped up, "LOOK MR. BIG-SHOT YOKAI, I DUNNO WHAT RUNE TOLD YOU, BUT I BET WHATEVER IT WAS, IT WAS BASED ON OUR LAST ROAD TRIP! YOU MUST HAVE NOTICED, THAT IF _ANYONE_ HAS AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX, IT'S HIM! _HE'S_ THE ONE WHO COULDN'T HANDLE HIS PRECIOUS HAIR BEING SHEARED OFF! I ADMIT I GOT A LITTLE CAUGHT UP IN GAMBLING, BUT RUNE'S SO VAIN HE HAD TO CUT EVERYONE'S HAIR OFF SO HE WOULDN'T BE ANY DIFFERENT! IF _THAT'S_ NOT AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX, I DUNNO WHAT IS!"

"OMIGAWD!"

Garfakcy heard, as the girl with the shocking pink hair next to the Dragon Knight gaped at her rival.

"IS _THAT_ WHAT HAPPENED? YOU TOLD ME YOU BESTED TWO DOZEN NINJAS ASSIGNED TO ASSINATE LORD LYKULEON, AND YOUR HAIR GOT IN THE WAY OF THEIR WEAPONS! _RUNE_ DID THAT? WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, THAT'S RICH!"

Garfakcy watched as the girl howled in amusement, tipping her chair over backwards in the process.

The Earth Dragon Knight was livid as he turned to his therapist, "YOU'VE TALKED ABOUT _ME_, LONG ENOUGH! WHAT ABOUT KITCHEL? TRY AND ANALYZE HER!"

The Yokai took in the girl on the floor laughing her face off, smiled and said, "That's simple. She has a one-track mind."

Thatz turned to Kitchel, a satisfactory smirk on his face, expecting her to be outraged, but was instead shocked as she hoisted herself up from the floor, still hooting in glee.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" she grinned, "And having a one-track mind has saved my butt loads of times! See, unlike _some_ people, I don't get distracted by mundane things such as food!"

"THAT'S BLASPHEMY!" Thatz yelped in horror, "FOOD ISN'T MUNDANE! _IT'S A GIFT FROM THE GODS!_ IT'S A LIFE-GIVING SUBSTANCE! IT'S ALMOST AS PRECIOUS AS TREASURE! AND SPEAKING OF WHICH, _WHADDYA MEAN YOU DON'T GET DISTRACTED?_ YOU'RE ALWAYS AFTER TREASURE!"

"You poor, simple-minded idiot," Kitchel sighed as she sat her chair upright and settled in it, cross-legged, "Treasure is not a distraction for me, because that is the only thing on my one-track mind. It is a _focus_ for me, unlike you, when you're on some mission for the Dragon Lord, you get sidetracked because of it. I'm sure Rune can support me on that."

"_SO, ARE YOU THE THERAPIST NOW!"_ Thatz shouted, feeling enraged and helpless.

"No, don't be absurd!" Kitchel tittered, "I'm only helping him!"

Thatz tried to respond, but all he could do was sputter incoherently and make goldfish impressions.

"And as his helper, I'd say your inferiority complex is kicking into gear right now! Don't you agree, Mr. Kharl-san?"

The alchemist smiled at pink-haired girl who turned out to have a mind as sharp as his, and smiled in acknowledgement, "Indeed, Kitchel. Just let go, Thatz. I promise that whatever is said, it won't be heard outside these doors. Tell me…what exactly are you feeling now?"

Garfackcy observed the Earth Dragon Knight, sure that he was going to explode. Instead, he got a breakdown much like Rune had done before, though unbeknowest to him.

"EVERYONE ELSE HAS A FUTURE IN STORE EXCEPT ME! OH, SURE, WE'RE ALL DRAGON KNIGHTS _NOW_, BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN OUR POSITIONS ARE OVER? THERE WERE OTHER DRAGON KNIGHTS BEFORE US, AND THERE'LL BE MORE DRAGON KNIGHTS AFTER US! RUNE'S A PRINCE, HE CAN GO BACK TO THE FAERIE REALM OR BE THE NEXT WHITE DRAGON OFFICER! HE'LL BE GREAT FOR THE JOB, HE'S A LITTLE ALFEEGI CLONE ALREADY! RATH IS THE NEXT IN LINE FOR THE THRONE! CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? HE'LL BE OFF JOY-RIDING AROUND DUSIS KILLING DEMONS TO HIS HEART'S CONTENT FOR AS LONG AS HE WANTS! BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? ARE THEY JUST GONNA KICK ME OUT ON THE STREET AGAIN, AND I'M BACK TO SQUARE ONE? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN, AND IT'S REALLY STRESSING ME OUT!

There was silence in the room after the ex-thief's mad rant, and all that could be heard was his breath, which came in loud, raspy pants.

Then Kitchel shattered the moment by saying in a sickly sweet tone, "You could always stay with _me_."

Silence.

Then, "AND _THIS _IS SUPPOSED TO BE _HELPING_ ME?" Thatz screamed pointing to Kitchel, "WHAT KIND OF COUSELING SESSION IS THIS ANYWAY? I'M SURE NOT FEELING ANY BETTER OUT OF THIS DISCUSSION!"

Kharl smiled, "Of course you're not, Thatz. However, as it is my job to ensure this session be completed successfully, we must seize the conflict within you and force yourself to let go. As such, how about we continue this session in a manner which you will feel more comfortable in. Garfakcy?"

Thatz watched in puzzlement as the alchemist's assistant wheeled a covered cart over to him and revealed its contents. It was all he could do not to let his thief's instincts leap forward and make a mad dash.

So he substituted for his eyes bugging out and drooling.

"OMIGAWD!" came Kitchel's shriek right next to his ear. Thatz was certain she was drooling too, "LOOK AT ALL THAT TREASURE!"

Garfakcy quickly yanked the cart out of reach as the pink-haired girl made a wild grab at it.

"HEY, GIVE THAT BACK, YOU LITTLE CREEP!" Kitchel screeched making a spectacular dive forward and grabbing one end of the cart.

"I shall make the assumption that you both want this counseling session to continue, correct?" the Yokai inquired in amusement.

Thatz bobbed his head enthusiastically, coming to his senses momentarily to realize what the therapist was doing, "Blackmail, eh? Very efficient means."

Kharl's smile widened, "I would call it more of a bribe, dear Dragon Knight. Say, one piece of treasure for every secret and conflict shared. And admitting truthfully to one of my theories and assumptions that I make about you."

"Sounds fair," Thatz said, his scarred face breaking out into a grin for the first time. This Yokai was all right.

"LET GO, YOU PINK-HAIRED FREAK!"

Both the alchemist and Dragon Knight turned their heads in the direction of the frustrated, angry voice to see Garfakcy and Kitchel playing a tug-a-war over the cart.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, YOU LITTLE CRETIN?" Kitchel yelped in outrage as she kept a very firm and strong grip on the cart.

"YOU HEARD ME, _GRANDMA_!" Garfakcy retorted, wondering why for the umpteenth time his master wanted to try and analyze these insane people. They were _beyond_ help!

"_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"_ Kitchel screamed in a terrible fury, veins springing out all over her head, "THAT'S _IT_! _NO ONE_ INSULTS ME LIKE THAT! _DIE_, YOU MISERABLE, MEAT-HEADED MONGREL OF A MIDGET!"

Then in a blink of an eye, the girl had taken a chair and it brought it crashing down on top of the green-haired boy. Garfakcy didn't even know what hit him.

"_Itai!"_ he squeaked, his eyes crossed.

_Note to self,_ Thatz thought sweatdropping profusely, _Never get on Kitchel's bad side, and keep her away from Rune. She's picking up his habits…which he is picking up from Alfeegi. New note to self: Never get on _Alfeegi's_ bad side!_

"First lesson of Psychology, Garfakcy," Kharl stated demurely, while sipping his tea, "Never exasperate the paying customer. There is an abnormal reason for them getting therapy after all. Some are prone to be dangerous. Simply pamper and sympathize with them, and they will be merrily on their way out and you job will done quicker."

_It's a little late for _that _advice,_ Garfakcy seethed inwardly, on the floor.

"While we're on the subject, this customer would like to be sympathized with a lot," Thatz spoke up quickly, diverting the alchemist's attention back onto the cart of treasure. However, in the next instant, the ex-thief had been pushed bodily away so hard he went flying across the room, and slamming into wall by the "pink-haired freak".

"FORGET HIM!" Kitchel shrieked, eyes fastened greedily on the treasure-laden cart, "SYMPATHIZE ME!"

"Very well," the Yokai smile, "First I need you to share a conflict or secret about yourself that you think you might have and let me scrutinize it, or you can have me state any assumption that I may have made about you. Which will it be?"

"Ahhhhmm," the girl was so busy roving her greedy eyes over the glistening gold objects she wasn't even remotely listening, "You pick."

"All right," Kharl smiled with an evil grin, "Here's a question: what do you think of Thatz?"

There was silence in the room as for once, something actually managed to completely tear Kitchel's attention away from treasure. The girl blinked in surprise at the inquiry, and Thatz was adamant.

"_WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS _THAT_?"_ the Dragon Knight raved, popping up from his sprawl on the floor, rather red in the face, "WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?"

His outburst was ignored by everyone, as Kitchel giggled and stated laughingly, "Aw, Thatz does try his hardest, but I still beat him in everything! The best he can do, is follow me around, learning my techniques, but that still won't help him polish his skills. The poor guy! I guess you could say his like a little puppy dog whom I 'm trying to teach new tricks! Heehee!"

"WHAT?" the ex-thief screamed, feeling his face growing redder.

"Yes, I agree," the alchemist smiled, "He _is_ rather hopeless, isn't he?"

"Do you think that he is the way he is because of his inferiority complex you discussed earlier?" Garfakcy mused out loud, getting in on the conversation.

"Very good," Kharl praised his servant, "You're learning!"

"THIS ISN'T A COUNSELING SESSION!" Thatz screeched,_ "THIS IS A BLOODY GOSSIP GROUP!"_

Again, he was ignored, and Kitchel received a gold bracelet for her "good deed".

"OOH!" she gushed, "I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN! ASK ME ANOTHER QUESTION!"

"Now, now," the therapist chided, "Let's not forget the real person with problems here. Let our dear Dragon Knight have a go."

Kitchel sulked as she moved aside, and Thatz stomped over to the chair shouting, "I DO _NOT_ HAVE PROBLEMS, CAPEESH?"

The Yokai waited until the ex-thief was settled in the seat, before speaking.

"Now, Thatz," Kharl said while rummaging through a bag in his lap, "I have heard it stated from certain sources that you," here he pulled out a notepad and began flipping through it. As he did so, several pieces of paper slipped out onto the floor.

Thatz picked them up and looked at them, "Hey!" he stated in surprise, "These are all drawings of Ra-!"

The alchemist hurriedly snatched the pictures away, sweatdropping profusely as he stuffed them back in the bag. Coughing slightly, he began anew, "I have heard from certain sources that you are a," here he whipped out some spectacles, put them on, and started quoting from the notepad, " 'Gluttonous, self-centered, greedy, thieving jerk' and a 'egotistical, covetous buffoon'. Defendant! Do you renounce these claims or are they true? Speak now or forever hold your peace!"

There was silence as everyone in the room gaped at the Yokai.

Garfakcy sweatdropped, thinking, _I can't tell if I'm at a court or a wedding!_

Then Thatz exploded, "SO, **MR. BIG-SHOT **RUNE THINKS HE'S ABOVE ME, EH? WELL HERE'S WHAT I THINK OF YOU, **MR. OH-SO NOBLE AND GALLANT**: YOU'RE AN UPTIGHT, CONCEITED LITTLE PRIG! NOT TO MENTION A CRADLE-ROBBER! HAHA! YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND IS A _TODDLER_! BWAHAHAHAHA-!"

The ex-thief was abruptly cut off as boulder came smashing down out of nowhere on top of his head. Thatz went down hard under its weight, seeing stars.

From beyond the room's closed doors, a voice yelled, "WELL, AT LEAST I _HAVE_ A GIRLFRIEND!"

Sweatdrops appeared on everyone's forehead, and Kharl tossed a gold ring to the fallen Dragon Knight as pennance. Needless to say, somehow this did not make Thatz any happier.

"O.K.! MY TURN!" Kitchel chirped as she seated herself in the chair. Then taking another look at Thatz, she said sweatdropping, "Just don't ask me any questions about Rune!"

The alchemist folded his hands together, smiled, and asked, "What's your opinion about Rath?"

Once again that day, the girl blinked in surprise and Garfakcy bristled at nothing in particular.

"Rath? Uh…" Kitchel wondered what kind of response the Yoaki was looking for and why in Dusis was he asking her about him, "He's uh…"

Kharl waited patiently.

"I think he's all right," Kitchel finally stated, "I mean sure, he's totally obsessed with killing demons like Thatz is with treasure, but other than that, he seems O.K. If you wanna know, I think he's really a big softie at heart. I mean being all concerned with Cesia's welfare, with her being part Yokai and all…"

The therapist's left eyebrow twitched spontaneously, "Really?" he asked in a strained voice, "How…interesting."

"Yah, I know," Kitchel droned on, oblivious, "He is like so totally crushing on her, and she is playing **Miss Hard-To-Get**, because that makes everything so much more fun! But I tell you, once the game ends, I have my money on some serious snogging!"

There was a shattering sound suddenly and everyone jolted, looking at the broken tea cup on the floor.

"Oh dear, how careless of me," Kharl stated not sounding particularly sorry at all. In fact, there was a small vein pulsing out on his forehead.

"RIGHT!" the therapist shouted abruptly, changing the subject rather zealously, "WELL, THATZ, IT'S YOUR TURN NOW!"

"Hey!" Kitchel yelped indignantly, "Where's my sympathy prize?"

"I'm afraid your recent answer was not up to my standards," the Yokai replied smoothly and Thatz slid into the chair, eyes slightly glazed over from his assault earlier.

The pink-haired girl simmered angrily next to a smug Garfakcy who had become rather happy suddenly since the topic of Cesia had come up.

"So, Thatz," Kharl addressed pointedly, "I take you and Rune are in the midst of a 'mutual misconception'?"

"There's no misconception about it," the Dragon Knight sniffed, feeling the humongous bump on his head where the boulder had come down on, "I disagree with him. He disagrees with me. I'm frustrated with him. He's frustrated with me. Only unlike me, Mr**. I-Can't-Handle-A-Joke **vents out his frustration in physical violence!"

"So, you're saying you would never resort to any retaliation of that kind?" the alchemist inquired.

"Well, I would, but I'm usually too busy running for my life!" the ex-thief growled in remembrance, "Ya know, this is _so_ like Rune to blow everything out of proportion and ruin someone's plans!"

"I take it you do not believe you should be in this session," Kharl stated knowingly.

"_HELL_, NO!" Thatz cried, "THE THERAPY WAS FOR HIM, NOT FOR ME OR THE WHOLE CASTLE! I MEAN, _REALLY_, DO I HAVE ISSUES THAT NEED COUNSELING?"

For the umpteenth time, there was silence in the room as the occupants stared at the spokesperson and sweatdroped.

"Master," said Garfakcy, testing out his newfound Psychology skills, "Is he blaming other people due his inferiority complex kicking in?"

"Oh, my smart little Garfakcy!" the Yokai tittered beaming, "Keep this up and I shall let you have your counseling session with someone soon!"

"YA TRY AND HELP A GUY!" Thatz raved on, ignoring all, "AND THE DUDE SMASHES A BOULDER ON YOU, CUZ HE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

"And what is the truth, Thatz?" Kharl asked excitedly, sensing a breakthrough at last.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE TRUTH IS, YOU MANIACAL THERAPIST!" the Dragon Knight bellowed, veins springing out over his forehead, "THE TRUTH IS THAT RUNE HAS WHAT I CALL A 'CHAMELEON CHANGE' AND WHOEVER HE IS AROUND RUBS OFF ON HIM! I MEAN, TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT HOW FAR HE'S GONE! WHEN HE FIRST STARTED OUT WITH RATH AND ME, HE WAS LIKE **MR. ETTIQUETTE** AND **MR. NO-BREAKING-THE-RULES-OR-I-BREAK-YOUR-NOSE** KINDA PERSON! NOW, LOOK AT HIM! SNEAKING AROUND THE DEMON LORD'S PALACE LIKE AN EXPERT THIEF, BEFRIENDING DEMONS, AND LETTING RATH HAVE HIS WAY SLICING YOKAI RIGHT AND LEFT! WELL, THAT'S ALL GOOD AND FAIR TO US, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO HANGING AROUND PEOPLE LIKE _ALFEEGI_, THEN THERE'S A PROBLEM! IN FACT, HE'S THE PERSON YOU SHOULD BE INTERVIEWING! THE REASON YOU CAME HERE WAS TO SOLVE RUNE'S STRESS ISSUES! WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA PUT THE WHOLE PALACE THROUGH THIS NIGHTMARE, THEN START WITH THE PERSON WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE BRINGING YOU HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! THE _REAL _CULPRIT MASTERMIND WHO IS CONTROLLING RUNE'S ACTIONS LIKE A PUPPET: _ALFEEGI_!_"_

Lightning flashes ominously behind a posed Thatz with his fist in the air. Once again, there is temporary silence in the room as all are speechless.

Then the silence was broken by an irritated Kitchel whining, "Is his turn over already, 'cause I want that diamond necklace on top of the silver shield."

"Well, Thatz," the alchemist said, "You have been most enlightening! And I think this counseling session is almost over, except for on one thing."

The Dragon Knight raised both eyebrows inquiringly.

"You have to admit you have an inferiority complex, before I allow you to leave," the Yokai ordered smiling.

"NEVER!" Thatz roared, absolutely livid, "I WILL NEVER ADMIT TO THAT! NOT IN A MILLION YEARS! YOU WILL NOT WIN ME OVER! AND NOTHING YOU CAN DO OR SAY WILL ALLOW ME TO STOMP ON MY PRIDE AND DIGNITY! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Say it and you can take the whole cart," Kharl smiled, waving both hands at the treasure-laden contraption.

"I have an inferiority complex!" Thatz gushed, then grabbed the cart and rushed out of the room.

"HEY! BRING THAT BACK, YOU THIEVING SKUNK!" Kitchel screamed in outrage, racing after him, "HALF OF THAT'S MINE!"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" the Dragon Knight could be heard shouting in mad glee, "I AM A SUPER THIEF!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"RUNE, STOP HIM! HE SAID IF YOU WERE A GIRL, HE'D BE ALL OVER YOU LIKE FLIES ON MOLASSES!"

"WHAT? NO I DIDN'T! AAAAUUUUUUGGHHH! NICE RUNE! PUT THE SWORD DOWN! SHE'S LYING!WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Then there were sounds of vengeful shrieking, terrified screaming, swords clashing, and maniacal, high-pitched girlish laughter ringing all over the palace.

"WAHAHAHA! WHO'S THE SUPER-THIEF NOW? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Inside the counseling room, Garfakcy sweatdropped and inquired his master warily, "How many more of these people do we have to do sessions with?"

Kkarl merely, smiled, poured himself some more tea…and began to cackle evily:

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

**TO BE CONTINUED…  
**

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this chappie took so long! Please share your fav parts, thanx!**

**(1)Yes, there is such a thing as an Inferiority Complex. It is not made up.**


	3. Dependant Personality Disorder

**Disclaimer:** I do not own **Dragon Knights, **Mineko Ohkami does.

**Title: Counseling Sessions**

**Summary:** In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses of temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK members are forced to do the same. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which complete chaos occurs.

**A/N: Bold parentheses with a number inside indicate a footnote which is explained at the bottom.**

**Ch.3. In Which Alfeegi Suffers From Not One, But Two Disorders, There Are Attempts To Boost Ruwalk's Self-Esteem, And Certain Teddy-Bears Undertake** **Terrible Threats. **

_Sob._

_Twitch._

_Sniffle._

_Twitch. Twitch._

_Hiccup._

_Twitch. Twitch. TWITCH!_

_Whimper. Sob. Sniffle. Hiccup._

"OH FOR DUSIS SAKE, MAN! JUST DO WHAT THE BLOODY YOKIA SAYS AND LET GO OF THE BLASTED TEDDY-BEAR!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY GOO-BAH! HE GIVES ME THE STRENGTH TO GO ON AND FACE MY CRAZED CO-WORKERS!"

"ARE YOU _IMPLYING_ SOMETHING? DROP THE INSUFFERABLE ANIMAL ALREADY!"

"DON'T YOU CALL MY GOO-BAH NAMES! HE'S VERY DELICATE! OH, NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE GONE AND DONE! YOU'VE UPSET HIS FEELINGS!"

"HIS FEELINGS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES THAT'VE BEEN UPSET!"

Garfakcy sighed, rubbing his pounding temples. Two days into his stay at the Dragon Castle and he had concocted a huge migraine already. After the ex-thief and the pink-haired freak, he was sure no one else could possibly be any crazier. But now that he had been with the White and Yellow Dragon Officers for twenty minutes, he had a horrible suspicion that things were just going to get worse each counseling session had.

At least for him.

Looking over at his master, who was watching the charade with the expression on his face like that of a child seeing the circus, he deducted that somehow Kharl was having the time of his life with giving people therapy. If that _was_ what he was giving them.

Garfakcy shuddered to think how this session would end.

"Don't listen to that mean old man!" Ruwalk told Goo-Bah, squeezing the bear protectively to his chest, "He's just a bully, venting out his frustrations on someone weaker than himself."

"OLD MAN?" Alfeegi roared, veins popping out on his head, "I'M TWO MONTHS YOUNGER THAN YOU! AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TAKING OVER THE THERAPIST'S JOB?"

"Indeed," Kharl sweatdropped, "This seems to be more and more commonplace now. Perhaps I'd better move more quickly! Right then, judging from my analysis so far, I have inferred both your problems. Shall I reveal their identity?"

"I'D TELL YOU WHAT I'D LIKE TO REVEAL!" the White Dragon Officer cried, "THAT THE STUPID TEDDY-BEAR ISN'T ALIVE! MAYBE THIS'LL HELP!" Then he whipped out a pair of scissors.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Ruwalk screamed in horror, shielding his fluffy white friend, "KEEP THOSE AWAY FROM GOO-BAH! YOU'LL KILL HIM!"

The alchemist sweatdropped as he was ignored and Alfeegi began chasing his fellow Officer around the room, snapping the shears menacingly. It seemed like he would be forced to use drastic measures to keep authority in check.

Taking out a handful of ash from his pouch, the Yokai blew the contents towards the two Dragon Tribe members who were immediately frozen in place and quickly pulled back into their seats by it.

Ruwalk whimpered, while Alfeegi glowered, and Kharl cleared his throat, pulled out his notepad, and began to read off the page.

"Ruwalk," he began, "Here's what's wrong with you. It's called Dependant Personality Disorder"

"It already sounds correct to me," Alfeegi muttered vindictively.

"And these are the symptoms of it," the Yokai said, reciting, "Excessive need to be taken care of that leads to submissive, clinging behavior..."

Here he paused and everyone glanced at the Yellow Dragon Officer who was clutching his teddy-bear tightly and worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, eyes showing nervousness.

"Has difficulty making everyday decisions without advice and reassurance of others…" Kharl continued.

"Ruwalk," Alfeegi asked, setting an example, "What kind of gift would you give me for my birthday?"

"IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?" Ruwalk cried in terror, "ACK! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I FORGOT!" The man flung himself on the floor and curled himself into a ball, shielding his head and Goo-bah with his arms.

"IT IS _NOT_ MY BIRTHDAY YOU DUNCE!" Alfeegi raged, frothing at the mouth, "IT'S JUST A SCENARIO! NOW ANSWER THE BLOODY QUESTION!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" the Yellow Dragon Officer shrieked, flinching as if his comrade would spring out a mallet and whack his head in, "I DON'T KNOW! MAYBE ANGER-MANAGEMENT CLASSES?"

"_WHAT WAS THAT?" _the strawberry-blond man roared.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Ruwalk squealed, shutting his eyes tightly, as if that would ward off the inevitable, "I KNEW YOU'D GET MAD! JUST TELL ME WHAT PRESENT YOU WANT AND I'LL GET IT!"

"YOU SEE?" Alfeegi shouted in triumph to the other two occupants in the room, "HE COULDN'T DECIDE ON SOMETHING BY HIMSELF IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!"

_Which it does in a way_, Garfakcy thought, sweatdropping. In fact, he rather thought the White Dragon Officer was partially the cause of Ruwalk being the way he was. Not that he said that out loud. He had learned from his experience with the pink-haired freak not to be very vocal.

"Has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval…" the alchemist kept on reading as if there had been no interruptions.

Looking at the Yellow Dragon Officer who had pulled himself off the floor and was now in his chair once again, sniffling and keeping a firm grasp on Goo-bah, Kharl asked, "Doesn't Alfeegi's treatment toward you make you feel so degraded and inferior? Are you against being subjected to in such a disrespectful manner?"

"Well…er…" Ruwalk, on the verge of screaming yes and flinging himself at the Yokai's feet and mercy, begging to be taken away from the mad-man, glanced over at Alfeegi who gave him his infamous glare and cracked his knuckles dangerously.

"NO!" Ruwalk yelped out, "HEHE, EVERYTHING'S FINE! 'FEEGI'S JUST DOING HIS DUTY KEEPING OTHER INEPT, IDIOT OFFICERS ON THEIR TOES! YEP!"

"THE NAME'S _ALFEEGI_!" the White Dragon Officer screamed, "_NOT_ 'FEEGI!"

"YES, SIR!" Ruwalk yelled out, "WHATEVER YOU SAY, SIR!"

"Lack of self-confidence," Kharl finished, shaking his head as the last few minutes had proved this point,"We have a lot of work to do."

"I'LL SAY WE DO!" Alfeegi raved in agreement.

"Now, wait just one moment," the therapist said, smiling, "Don't think you get off the hook completely. Here's what's wrong with you."

"I have _nothing_ wrong with me!" the strawberry-haired man spat, gripping the arms of his seat in fury.

"It is called Paranoid Personality Disorder,"the Yokai stated, reading off a page from his notepad.

Ruwalk burst out laughing at that, but quickly choked on his glee as his fellow Officer aimed a warning look at Goo-bah, giving an implied threat.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!" Alfeegi scoffed, crossing his arms, "I know what you're trying to do! To make me look bad in front of the Dragon Lord so he can replace me with you! A spy for Nadil's army! Just try and nail that disfunction on me. You'll never get away with it."

"And the symptoms are," Kharl began, ignoring the recent outburst, "Perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation. Distrusts and suspicious of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent…"

The White Dragon Officer glowered at the alchemist, realizing the symptoms just named vouched for what he had said earlier. He wished reverently that Lord Lykuleon had never signed that peace treaty with the alchemist. That way, he could whack the poofy-haired idiot's head in and finally wipe that annoying smile off his face!

"Just wait, Yokai," Alfeegi growled vehemently, "As soon as all these sessions are over and this peace treaty null…I SHALL MAKE MY VENGEANCE ON YOU!"

"Quick to react angrily or to counter-attack," Kharl went on, as if nothing had been said, "Persistently bears grudges…"

Alfeegi smoldered, turning a dark shade of purple, and Ruwalk gaped at the Yokai in awe.

"WOW!" the man breathed in amazement, "YOU'RE RIGHT ON THE MONEY! HOWSA 'BOUT YOU STAYING ON HERE PERMANENTLY?"

The alchemist beamed at him, reveling in delight, and the White Dragon Officer raged at his comrade, "I BET YOU'RE WITH HIM TOO! THE BOTH OF YOU! SCHEMING AGAINST ME!"

"Preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates…" Kharl finished with a flourish.

"_SHUT UP,_ YOU!" Alfeegi roared and would have proceeded to leap out of his chair and resort to physical violence if he had not been restrained by the alchemist's ash.

"So that's the reason he is so…tense?" Ruwalk inquired, "And you're going to help make him…normal? OH, _BLESS_ YOU, KIND PERSON!" And the man began weeping tears, of joy.

"I'm afraid, dear Ruwalk," the therapist said sadly, "That our Alfeegi is the way he is due not to one disorder, but two."

"What?" the White Dragon Officer gaped soundly.

"WHAT?" the Yellow Dragon Officer screamed insanely.

And Garfakcy was over in a corner praying feverishly that the session was almost over.

"Yes, it's true," Kharl repeated sighing, "Not only does Alfeegi suffer from Paranoid Personality Disorder, but he also is the victim of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder."

"THAT'S THE LAST STRAW, YOKAI!" Alfeegi swore as he struggles to break through the ash's spell binding him in place, "AS SOON AS I GET FREE, YOU'RE DEAD!"

"Let the symptoms be known as such," the alchemist cleared his throat and began listing them off, "Abnormal pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control…"

"THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS!" the White Dragon Officer roared, veins springing out all over his forehead, "NOTHING'S WRONG WITH HAVING THINGS CLEAN! YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING'S ABNORMAL ABOUT WANTING THAT!"

"Garfakcy, if you please," Kharl commanded and the servant reluctantly pulled himself out of his corner of refuge and went up next to his master, who held out a platter of food to him. Garfakcy took the dish and stared at it, knowing what his master wanted, but unwilling to act on his orders.

"I know it is hard for you," the Yokai sympathized, "But it is for the client's own good. Now, if you would."

Garfakcy hesitated only a second more with the two Officers watching puzzled…then he turned the platter over and let the food splatter all over the floor in a huge mess.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Alfeegi screamed in horror, as Garfakcy tried too hold in his appalled cry too, "THIS FLOOR IS CARPETED! THAT DRINK WAS RED WINE! THE FOOD HAD GRAVY ALL OVER IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL BE GETTING THE STAIN OUT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT WILL COST TO HAVE THE CARPET STEAMED?"

"Next on the list," Kharl stated, his last point haven been proved, "Preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organizations, and schedules to the extent that the major point of activity was lost…"

The White Dragon Officer was still too stricken with shock and feeling sick at the sight on the ground to give in to his usual mad rant. He was not alone in his disgust. Garfakcy had tears of helplessness in his eyes as he stared at the mess. His hands twitched spontaneously as he resisted the urge to clean it up. He was a neat-freak after all.

_This counseling session had better be a success,_ he thought, clenching his fist, or his master was going to have one angry servant on his hands.

Since no one was speaking, the alchemist decided it was up to him to prove the point, "Perhaps you can provide us with an occasion that fits the example?" he questioned of Ruwalk.

Ruwalk gulped nervously and sneaked a glance at Alfeegi to make sure he wasn't listening. At the moment, the strawberry-blond haired man was moaning in distraught and mumbling something to himself about 'undertaking torture to strengthen his zeal'.

"Well," the Yellow Dragon Officer said cautiously, "There used to be such a thing as receiving what you needed if you lost or ran out of something. But the Alfeegi got on this act that people were cheating him, and enforced this rule that if you wanted to replace something, you had to submit a written request. Not only that, but he would go over the papers to make sure that everything was filled out completely and that what you wanted was reasonable, even if it was for pens or a sword. Don't even get me started on requests for money. It's so bad now, that if anyone runs out of what they need, they just borrow it from someone else or go into town and buy it. I'd say it the point of the activity was lost all right!"

"Well that scenario not only fits the last symptom, but this one as well," the therapist recited, "Is reluctant to delegate tasks, work, or items to others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things…"

"SO IT WAS _YOU_!" came a bellowing shout and Ruwalk jumped ten feet in the air.

"What?" he yelped, his heart thudding painfully against his chest, as he cowered before his fellow Officer.

"YOU!" Alfeegi seethed, "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ENCOURAGED EVERBODY TO ABANDON THE **SUMBITTED REQUEST SYSTEM** AND JUST GO OFF AND DO THEIR OWN THING!THAT IS JUST LIKE YOU! SNEAKING AROUND SOMEONE'S BACK AND TURNING THE WHOLE CASTLE AGAINST THEM! IF YOU OR ANYONE HAD A PROBLEM WITH HOW I DID THINGS, YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME TO MY FACE!"

"But, 'Feegi," Ruwalk meeped, scrunching down in his seat, squeezing his teddy-bear as that would somehow protect him, "YOU WOULD HAVE _KILLED _US!"

"THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!" the White Dragon Officer screeched, eyes turning red, "AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING ME '_FEEGI_?"

"SORRY!" Ruwalk wailed, flinging his arms over his head.

"Is overly conscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics or values…" Kharl read on, portraying the truth of Alfeegi's indignation about his scoffed-at system.

"JUST HOW MANY MORE OF THOSE THINGS ARE YOU GOING TO CALL OUT?" the strawberry-haired man shrieked, feeling his blood pressure rising steadily high.

"Calm down," the alchemist spoke soothingly, "It's only a few more. Excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships…"

"You don't need to wait for an example there," Ruwalk muttered, "Everyone knows he's a workaholic."

"ZIP YOUR LIP OR THE BEAR GETS IT!" Alfeegi exclaimed, whipping out the scissors again.

"NO! NOT GOO-BAH!" the Yellow Dragon Officer cried, pushing the teddy-bear behind him and placing himself in front as a shield, "PLEASE NOT GOO-BAH!"

"STAND ASIDE, YOU FOOLISH MAN!" Alfeegi hissed ominously, "STAND ASIDE NOW!"

"NOT GOO-BAH!" Ruwalk persisted, pleading hysterically, "NO! TAKE ME! KILL ME INSTEAD! HAVE MERCY! HAVE MERCY!"

Alfeegi was laughing, Ruwalk was screaming, and Goo-bah knew no more.

There was silence for a few minutes with Garfakcy's left eyebrow twitching spontaneously, then…

"What in the name of Dusis just happened?" the servant voiced his confusion out loud.

"I don't have the slightest inkling of why we just did that," Ruwalk stated, scratching his head.

"THAT PSYCHO-MANIAC YOKAI CAST SOME SORT OF SPELL ON US TO ACT OUT ONE OF HIS SICK FANTASIES!" Alfeegi roared, pointing an accusing finger at the so-called culprit.

"I assure you," Kharl smiled, sweatdropping, "I was not behind all of this."

"IF IT WASN'T YOU, THEN WHO WAS IT THEN?" the White Dragon Officer inquired fiercely.

"Oh, that was the author," the alchemist stated calmly, pouring himself some tea and taking a sip.

"The who?" Ruwalk questioned, still puzzled.

"The author," Kharl repeated unfazed, "She's also the true mastermind behind all these counseling sessions. Yes, indeed. I mean, honestly, as genius as I am, who else could have possibly thought up torture material as good as this?"

Once again there was silence in the room, until…

"THAT CRAZY DAME!" Alfeegi screeched, waving his fist in the air, "SHE READS SO MANY FANFICTION SHE FORGETS WHAT CATEGORY SHE'S DOING! WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL HER THIS IS **DRAGON KNIGHTS**, NOT **HARRY POTTER**!" **(1)**

"Well, I'm certainly glad it's not!" Ruwalk huffed, "Just imagine! I would have died and poor ickle Goo-bah wouldn't have anyone there for him!"

"DON'T SPEAK SO SOON!" Alfeegi yelled, still upset over the previous episode, "I PROMISE, I ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU, I'LL GIVE THE BLASTED TEDDY-BEAR TO RATH!"

"WHAT?" the Yellow Dragon Officer yelped in horror, snatching up Goo-bah and holding him tightly, "HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HE ALREADY KIDNAPPED HIM ONCE AND HAD TRIED TO DO IT AGAIN COUNTLESS TIMES SINCE? HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS OR THAT HE LIKES BUBBLE BATHS AND LOVES COUNTRY MUSIC! HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TO SING **KUM-BAH-YAH** **(2) **TO HIM AT NIGHT SO HE WON'T HAVE NIGHTMARES! HE WON'T TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM! LET RATH COME NEAR HIM AND I SWEAR I'LL NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ONE OF YOUR INSUFFERABLE LECTURES AGAIN!"

"_YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE!"_ Alfeegi screamed, his poor frazzled nerves terribly riled.

"Gentleman, gentleman!" Kharl admonished, trying to get the situation back under control, "Let's not forget the conversation at hand now."

There were several moments of enraged mumbles and heavy breathing as_ certain _people struggled to get their temper in check. Finally…

"What were we talking about?" Alfeegi asked, wondering how long they all had been in this session.

"We were on the topic of Rath," the Yokai chirped, looking particularly giddy.

Ruwalk frowned and Garfakcy glowered.

"But I thought we were talking about Al-" the Yellow Dragon Officer began, but was cut off abruptly.

"WE WERE _TALKING_," Kharl stated through gritted teeth in a plastered smile, "ABOUT _RATH_…"

"OH, YES! I REMEMBER NOW!" Ruwalk yelped, sweatdropping.

"So," the alchemist gushed in excitement, "Tell me, has our little Dragon Knight confessed any…secret crushes on anyone to you?"

"Not that I know of," Alfeegi said, resting his arms across his chest, "But we'd all be idiots not to see the feeling he has for Cesia."

No one except Garfakcy saw his master's knuckles whiten as they clenched the arm of his chair furiously.

"Cesia…really?" Kharl inquired, several small veins popping out on his forehead, "And…has she returned his feelings?"

"Well, not vocally," the White Dragon Officer continued, "But you can tell she cares for him deeply. I mean she's saved his life lots of times…"

The Yokai's mouth twitched and his grip on his seat lessened, "Well…that's…nice," he stated reluctantly.

"Of course, that's almost always after her alter ego takes over and tries to kill him," Alfeegi finished.

"WHAT?" Kharl exclaimed in shock, fear, and fury.

_Oh, Cesia,_ the therapist thought in irritated anticipation, _Just wait until I get you in my counseling session!_

"Oh, don't worry," Alfeegi said to the alchemist's outburst, "As long as she doesn't lose that Light Dragon Amulet the Dragon Lord gave her, she'll be fine. Which is good. Lord Lykuleon is going to retire soon, and the sooner Rath takes the throne, marries her and gives Draqueen another heir, the better off we'll be."

There was a loud explosion quite suddenly and everyone looked to see a powerful storm of ash magic swirling violently around the Yokai, who for once was no longer smiling.

"Uh, Mr. Kharl, sir?" Ruwalk inquired timidly.

"Master?" Garfakcy questioned, through his brooding.

For a minute, it looked like the storm of magic was going to hurl itself all over the Palace, but at the last moment, it got under control, then abruptly disappeared.

"Right!" Kharl said briskly with an obviously fake smile on his face, "Let me finish naming Alfeegi's symptoms, then we can devise ways to help you both beat your bad habits!"

"YOU STILL HAVEN'T NAMED THEM ALL?" Alfeegi shouted enraged.

"Hold on," the Yokai said, scanning his abyssmally long list, "Let me find my place! Ah, here! Adopts a miserly spending style towards self and others. Money viewed as something to be hoarded away for future catastrophes…"

"SWEET!" Ruwalk exclaimed, "YOU TOTALLY NAILED HIM WITH THAT ONE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THE WORD 'CATASTROPHE' HAS COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH?"

"Now, it's on to the next stage of finding a cure!" the alchemist stated.

"WHATEVER YOU DO OR TRY, YOKAI," Alfeegi warned strongly, "YOU WILL NEVER MAKE ME BACK DOWN ON MY BELIEFS AND STANDARDS! UNLIKE SOME," here he shot a pointed look at his fellow Officer, "I STAND _FIRM_!"

"Shows rigidity and stubborness," Kharl completed the list, smiling for real.

The White Dragon Officer flared his nostrils rather vexed.

"All right, beating these disorders are very simple," the Yokai explained, "Ruwalk, you need to build up your self-esteem, and Alfeegi…"

Kharl paused, searching for the right words to come.

"Alfeegi…you just need to lighten up and not let insignificant things irk you so much," he finally said.

"THANK YOU!" came a scream from Ruwalk, "FINALLY! KAI-STERN HAS BEEN SAYING THE SAME THING FOR YEARS, BUT HE HAS NEVER LISTENED! MAYBE NOW, THE MESSAGE'LL GO TO HIS HEAD!"

"Must I remind you," the White Dragon Officer said slowly, "Of a certain bear who will be orphaned, if a _certain_ person keeps annoying _another_ certain person?"

"STOP THREATENING GOO-BAH!" Ruwalk shrieked, "YOU'LL TRAUMATIZE HIM!"

"Ahem," Kharl interrupted, clearing his throat, "I believe this is a good time to boost your self-confidence, Ruwalk."

The Yellow Dragon Officer looked on bewildered.

"The first thing you need to do is to let go of your over-protectiveness of Goo-bah."

"WHAT?" the man cried, looking appalled at the thought, "BUT HE WILL PERISH WITHOUT ME! HOW CAN YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING?"

"Tell me, Ruwalk," the alchemist inquired, "How is Goo-bah ever going to grow up and stand on his own two feet-er…_paws_ and live, unless you give him a chance?"

Ruwalk stared for minute, then stated, "Wow, I never would have thought of that."

"After all," the therapist continued, "You can't keep flowers under box. Even though you want to shelter them from the harsh world, they will die without sunlight."

"But we're talking about Goo-bah, not flowers" the Yellow Dragon Officer said confused.

"IT'S CALLED A METAPHOR, YOU POOR-EXCUSE-OF-A-DRAGON-OFFICER!" Alfeegi raged.

"Right, Alfeegi," Kharl said, turning to him, "Now for you. Garfakcy!"

The servant slowly walked to his master and handed him a large porcelain vase. Then he stepped back to his corner and began banging his head on the wall, cursing himself in the role he played for what was about to occur.

"Here, Alfeegi," the Yokai addressed, handing the White Dragon Officer the vase in one hand and placing a mallet in the other.

"Just what have you got up your sleeve, vile fiend?" Alfeegi questioned the therapist's motives.

"This is your big chance, Alfeegi," Kharl explained, "It is time for you to let go of your tight grip on order and laws, and let some rebellion leak through! Show the world, dear Dragon, that White Dragon Officer Alfeegi…WILL NOT BE STEPPED ON OR PASSED OVER BY PEOPLE LESS INTELLIGENT THAN HIM! YOU CAN DO THIS! BREAK THAT VASE AND FREE YOUR INNER SPIRIT!"

Needless to say, that Alfeegi was struck speechless for once in his entire life, as all the occupants in the room began shouting:

"BREAK THAT VASE! BREAK THAT VASE! BREAK THAT VASE!"

Alfeegi's head reeled wildly as he had no idea what to do.

"BREAK THAT VASE! BREAK THAT VASE! BREAK THAT VASE!" the chanting continued.

As if hypnotized, the Dragon Officer slowly brought the mallet up above the vase.

"BREAK THAT VASE! BREAK THAT VASE! BREAK THAT VASE!" the screaming grew more frantic.

Filled with a sudden rush of maniacal insanity, Alfeegi tentatively smiled, giggled, then swung down the mallet as hard as he could, which shattered the vase in a tiny million pieces on the ground.

There was silence for a few minutes as everyone stared, then wild cheering broke out.

"YEAH!" Ruwalk hollered pounding his comrade on the back, crying tears of joy.

"OH, YOU'VE DONE IT!" Kharl exclaimed, clapping his hands in glee, "YOU'VE BROKEN THE CHAINS WHICH BOUND YOU!"

"I DID IT! I DID IT!" Alfeegi bellowed, feeling incredibly elated, "LET THE WORLD KNOW THAT WHITE DRAGON OFFICER ALFEEGI CAN MASTER ANYTHING! HE IS A SUPERGENIUS!WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

No one notice Garakcy quietly weeping in distress over the sad fate of a priceless antique vase.

"OH, I FEEL SO RELEASED!" Alfeegi yelled, springing up out of his seat with fire in his eyes, "WHO KNEW THAT DESTROYING THINGS COULD MAKE YOU FEEL SO _LIGHT_! THIS IS A GREAT WAY TO RELIEVE STRESS! I WANT TO BECOME EVEN LIGHTER! OOH, THERE'S SOMETHING!"

Then the strawberry-haired man leaped forward and brought his mallet smashing down on the tea platter, cracking the set to smithereens and splashing the liquid everywhere.

"Eek!" Kharl squeaked as his white outfit was stained.

"HAHA! YES!" Alfeegi raved, smiling crazily, "ANOTHER BURDEN UNLOADED OFF MY SHOULDERS! OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD!"

A crystal lamp was quickly mutilated beyond comparison.

"NOOOO!" Garfakcy cried in horror.

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ANOTHER!" the White Dragon Officer screamed, swinging his mallet, "AND ANOTHER!"

A wooden chest and a mirror were the next to fall victim.

"AAAAHHH!" Ruwalk screamed at the looking-glass's broken shards, "THAT'S SEVEN YEARS BAD LUCK!"

As you all probably know that Garfakcy was on the floor, pulling his hair out, having a mental breakdown by now.

Meanwhile, Alfeegi had quickly destroyed almost every piece of furniture in the room, brought the chandelier crashing down, created huge dents in the door, holes in the walls, and was hurriedly glancing about for something else to "relive the stress".

His red yes fell on Goo-bah.

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he cackled evily, racing towards the teddy-bear, mallet poised high in the air.

He was right up in front of it, ready to bring the weapon down, when…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed a hysterical, fearful, protective Ruwalk as he snatched up a chair and slammed it across the backside of Alfeegi's head.

The White Dragon Officer crashed to the floor hard.

"HOW. DARE. YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" Ruwalk shrieked battering the fallen Officer's body with the seat, "NEVER. COME. NEAR. GOO-BAH. AGAIN!"

_Wow,_ Garfakcy thought, forgetting his sorrow over the utter ruin of the room and the mess left, _That guy has no fear when it comes to defending his bear!_

"Oh, yes! Excellent Ruwalk!" Kharl applauded, jumping up and down in excitement, "That's it! LET YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE SHINE THROUGH! OH, I LOVE IT WHEN MY THERAPY IS SUCCESSFUL!"

Suddenly, the chair Ruwalk was using to beat the downed Alfeegi broke in his hands, and the Yellow Dragon Officer blinked, then gaped at the scene in front of him as if he could not believe what he had just done.

"Oooh," Alfeegi moaned, coming back into consciousness rubbing hid head, "What the heck just happened? I-" then his eyes fell on the astonished Ruwalk above him.

"_You,"_ he whispered in a deadly sounding voice, getting up very slowly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" the Yellow Dragon Officer screamed in terror, his temporary boost of self-esteem quickly doused.

Turning tail, he ran towards the door, pausing only to scoop up Goo-bah in his arms, then raced out of the room.

Alfeegi snatched up his mallet and was about to chase after him, when he stopped and took a good look around the room.

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" he screeched, his mind not comprehending what he was seeing, "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"DON'T YOU REMEMBER, YOU DEMENTED DESTROYER?" Garfakcy cried, glaring at him through his tears.

"WHAT?" the White Dragon Officer started to question, then he looked at the mallet in his hand as if he had seen a ghost.

"Nooooooo," he let out a low moan and dropped the weapon on the floor. Then taking a final horrified look around the room, fled out of it screaming, "WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! I'VE CAUSED MASS RUIN WHICH WILL TAKE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS TO FIX! LYKULEON! I'M NOT FIT TO BE CALLED THE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY! FIRE ME, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! I MIGHT DO IT AGAIN! I THINK I'M GOING CRAZY!"

There was silence in the room for the umpteenth time, until Kharl stated out loud, "Well…my therapy was _almost_ successful."

But he might as well have been speaking to himself, because Garfakcy was too busy shedding tears over the sight of the mangled room, and holding pieces of the shattered vase close to his chest.

"Hmmm," the Yokai mused, "I must remind myself never to give someone a weapon while in session. I think they are too upset to handle it. Oh well."

Then the alchemist began brooding over his own problem.

_Oh, Cesia,_ he thought narrowing his eyes, _You're going down!_ _MWAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

**TO BE CONTINUED…  
**

* * *

**A/N:** **By the way, those three disorders are real. I found this psychology site and was looking through the problems and thought, gee, these fit DK members personalities! I'll give you the website when I'm done with this fic. Some people wanted to know who my fav character is: Rath, hello. And to when Rath is coming on the scene. LOL , I'm saving the best for last**. **Please share your fav parts, thanx!**

**(1) Harry Potter and all characters, situations associated within that universe are owned by JK Rowling.**

** (2) The "Kum Bah Ya" song is an African-American gospel song, with an unknown author.  
**


	4. Social Phobia

**Disclaimer:** I do not own **Dragon Knights, **Mineko Ohkami does.

**Title: Counseling Sessions**

**Summary:** In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses of temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK members are forced to do the same. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which complete chaos occurs.

**A/N: Bold parentheses with a number inside indicate a footnote explained at the bottom.**

**Ch.4. In Which Tetheus Is Profusely Stubborn About Making Conversation, Kitchel Pops Up Yet Again, And Kharl Daydreams About A Certain Dark-haired Dragon Knight.**

"O.K., how about this one? What do demons have on a holiday? A DEVIL of a time! HAHA…hahaha…he…hehe…all right, so that was kind of corny. Sorry."

Kharl coughed and sweatdropped as the person in front of him kept up his act of a stoic-faced statue and intense silence. The Yokai had to admit truthfully, that this was his hardest session so far, and the most scary. Yes, the others might have been a little chaotic, full of screaming and near death experiences, but this one…after half an hour of complete silence with someone staring at you expressionless was downright terrifying!

Nevertheless, the therapist continued on his quest to make his present client talk, even if his method was bit odd, "What do you call a demon who slurps his food? A GOBLIN! HEHEHE…heh..he…O.K., that one was horrible too."

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

By this time, the alchemist's head was drenched in sweat, and Garfakcy was pleased and happy for once.

_Serves Master right,_ he thought with vindictive glee, _All the therapy he's been giving to these people is whacko. Now he's finally gotten a person who won't be intimidated by his_ _false counseling_._ Let's see how you deal with this case, ha!_

Meanwhile, Kharl was ready to bang his head against the wall in frustration. Since the time the Black Dragon Officer had stepped foot in this room, the only person who had uttered a sound was the alchemist. And in all honestly, he was quite fed up.

"You know what, Tetheus," the Yokai finally said, tossing his notepad over his shoulder, which was filled with various jokes(not to mention scribbles of a certain Dragon Knight), "Let's cut down to the real fact here. The real reason you hardly talk."

Silence.

Tetheus stared expressionless, Kharl sweatdropped even more immensely, and Garfakcy leaned forward intrugingly.

Was his master actually onto something real for once?

"Yes, well," the therapist said, clearing his throat, "Here is the true explanation behind the speech impediment you've been having. Tetheus," and here he paused dramatically, fixing his eyes on the Officer with a serious gaze, "You have…Social Phobia!"

Silence.

Stare(Tetheus).

Blink(Garfakcy).

Sweatdrop(Kharl).

"Right," the Yokai stated, wishing suddenly for any other person to counsel than this one, including the teddy-bear obsessed man, "I can only assume you are in denial, which most cases are. Would you care to affirm or refute this claim?"

Silence.

Stare.

Silence.

"Let me read what the symptoms are," Kharl smiled nervously, his head growing sweatdrops by the minute, "Ahem, marked and persistent fear that person will act in a way which is humiliating and embarrassing. So, in order to avoid this, dear Tetheus, you shrink from social interactions, and say and do nothing when you are around people, because, in fact, you _fear_ them!"

And the alchemist waited for a reaction.

Silence.

Stare.

Silence.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" the Yokai screamed and did a very un-Kharlish dance of exasperation, "WOULD YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING PLEASE? I HAVE TO GIVE FULL REPORTS OF EVERY SESSIONS TO YOUR INSUFFERABLE LEADER, THE MAN WHO KILLED MY MASTER! THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS BE POLITE AND GIVE ME A HINT THAT I'M ON THE RIGHT PATH!"

Silence.

Stare.

Silence.

And though Tetheus was being quite stubborn about speaking, fortunately, there was another who was more than happy to help the alchemist with his job.

"OOH! LET ME HELP, PLEASE!" screamed Kitchel, popping up beside Kharl out of nowhere, waving her hand.

"Where did you come from?" the Yokai asked, his eyebrows rising up in surprise.

"YOU!" Garfakcy cried in horror, "THE PINK-HAIRED FREAK!"

In an instant, Kitchel had grabbed a chair and had raised in high over her head threateningly, "WANNA RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN, YOU CREEPY LITTLE CRETIN?"

Needless to say, Garfakcy shut up rather quickly.

"My dear girl," Kharl began rather apologetic, "I can only assume your intentions are honorable, but regretably, since you have already have had your counseling session, I can not allow you to-"

The Yokai was cut off abruptly by the girl exclaiming enthusiastic, "Don't be silly! I'm not here for more therapy! I'm here to aid you with your client!"

"HEY, THAT'S MY JOB!" Garfakcy protested angrily.

"WHO SAID YOU HAD PERMISSION TO SPEAK, YOU DITHERING, DISMAL, DUMB-HEADED DWARF?" screamed Kitchel and the next instant, Garfakcy found himself flying through the air into the wall by a well-aimed, hard-packed high kick.

_Damn, she sure uses colorful alliteration,_ was the servant's last coherent thought before he blacked out.

"Since your apprentice here is unavailable at the moment, I offer my services to you! How can I help?" Kitchel said, beaming at the alchemist widely.

Kharl decided that unless he wanted to end up like his servant, it would be healthier for him to accept the girl's proposition.

"Well, you see," the Yokai started, explaining the issue, "Tetheus here is being most uncooperative in admitting his fault, and letting me find a solution that will help guide a clear path of escape from his trouble and onto a new route of self-discovery."

"I…see," Kitchel said slowly, her left eye twitching in confusion, "Ya know, ya sorta lost me there with all the path and route junk, but…you're saying you want help in making Mr. Tall-and-Silent here confess his problem?"

"Mr. Tall-and-Silent is exactly right!" Kharl breathed heavily, "I can't get him to say one single sentence, much less a word!"

"Oooh," the pink-haired girl said, getting it, "Well, then, all we have to do…is force him into speech."

And Kitchel turned around to Tetheus and grinned wickedly.

Silence.

Stare.

_Sweatdrop_.

Kharl suddenly felt pity towards the Black Dragon Officer. Whatever the girl had up her sleeve couldn't be good.

He couldn't have made a more clear diagnosis in all his days of counseling sessions.

"I'm sure Tetheus-sama will talk if we make him comfortable enough," Kitchel chuckled fiendishly, "LIKE THIS!"

And the girl flung herself forward and launched herself into the Dragon Officer's lap.

Kharl gaped, Kitchel giggled, and Garfakcy, who had just regained consciousness, grimaced at the sight.

"Oh, _why_ won't you talk, Tetheus-sama?" the girl gushed, throwing her arms around the man's neck, "Don't you realize you're making things very difficult for Mr. Kharl?"

Garfakcy was thinking she was making things difficult for the Dragon Officer, who was bright pink in the face, but he kept quiet. It seemed every time he voiced his opinion about things around the pink-haired freak, he ended up unconscious.

"Ooh, you know what this reminds me of?" Kitchel exclaimed, swinging her legs back and forth, "That time when I was stuck in the cave in Arinas! Only this time, I'm not transparent and can actually touch you! Don't you think this is so much better?" she laughed, fixing the man's collar.

Tetheus's face changed from a bright pink to deep red in one second. Several sweatdrops appeared to join the one he already had on his head.

"Heehee!" the girl tittered, continuing in her reminiscing, "And those muscles! So strong and firm!" she stated, taking the man's left arm and squeezing his biceps, "Why I bet you could lift all of my weight with just one arm! Why don't we try that?"

Several strands of hair sprang out from the Dragon Officer's well-combed hair and a small vein popped out from his forehead, yet still, the man kept his silence.

"Oh, come on, Tetheus-sama," Kitchel persisted, "If you won't talk, then show off those _tendons of steel_! Here, get your arm out of this uniform," and the girl began to tug at the man's outfit.

Finally, the Black Dragon Officer's reserve broke, and he stood up abruptly, letting Kitchel tumble head-over-heels out of his lap.

"Stop," the man said in a deep monotone voice, his face still a deep red color.

"AHA!" Kharl shrieked in triumph, pointing a finger at him, "SO IT SPEAKS AFTER ALL!"

"See," Kitchel beamed from her position on the floor, "I told you I could help!"

Garfakcy was under the impression, however, that the girl had done it for herself and had enjoyed the job immensely.

The alchemist was too busy rubbing his hands together in glee to give any thanks, "SO!" he crowed delightly, "IT'S TRUE! YOU _DO_ HAVE SOCIAL PHOBIA! THE LAST SCENE JUST PROVED IT!"

"Uh, master," Garfakcy spoke a bit hesitantly, "I think any person would be uncomfortable with _her_ in their lap."

The servant was fortunate enough to have Kitchel busy eyeing Tetheus to hear him, and Kharl was far too busy being happy about his client's breakthrough to listen.

"THIS IS PERFECT!" the Yokai cried excitedly, "A CHANCE FOR YOU TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS FEAR OF PEOPLE!"

"OOH, AND I GET TO HELP AGAIN, RIGHT?" Kitchel inquired, feeling just as elated as the therapist.

"RIGHT!" Kharl affirmed stoutly, "AND NO ONE WILL LEAVE THIS ROOM UNTIL WE HAVE TETHEUS COMPLETELY UNABLE TO SHRINK FROM PEOPLE'S PRESENCE!"

The Black Dragon Officer, meanwhile, was trying to shrink his way out of the room right at that moment.

"OH, NO YOU DON'T!" the alchemist shouted, flinging a handful of ash in the man's direction and pulling him back into his chair, "THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! AND THE SOONER YOU DO AS WE SAY, THE SOONER WE CAN ALL RELAX!"

Everyone glanced at the Yokai, whose poofy-white hair was drooping slightly in humidity from all the sweatdrops on his head. Several veins and a red face to match Tetheus's, was the rest of his outfit. All in all, it looked like Kharl was at the end of his rope and _did_ need to relax.

Seeing that he had an audience, Kharl coughed and composed himself quickly, "Alright, this what we're going to do: we're going to act out a skit in which you, Tetheus have to interact socially, and judging from how well you do, then I'll decide whether you can leave or not. O.K., Garfakcy, you go stand over by the table, Kitchel, you stand in the middle of the room, and Tetheus, you stand by that chair over there."

The alchemist waited until everyone had taken their places(even if some were a bit reluctant to do it), then he began to tell them their parts, "All right, Garfakcy go over to Kitchel."

The servant eyed the pink-haired girl warily who gave him a glare that if looks could kill, he'd be dead.

"Uh, master, do I have to?" Garfakcy asked nervous.

"Scared, shrimp?" Kitchel taunted with a smirk.

"NO!" the servant shot back and stomped over to her, feeling nauseous at the thought.

When he was finally beside her, Kharl dropped the bomb, "Now…feel her up."

"WHAT?" Garfakcy screamed in fear and dread.

"WHAT?" Kitchel screeched in horror and disgust.

Seeing he was on thin ice, the alchemist soothed hastily, "My dears, it's all for the good of this session!"

"HEY, IF I _DO_ HAVE TO GET FEELED UP, WHY CAN'T TETHEUS-SAMA DO IT?" the pink-haired girl raged.

The Black Dragon Officer's red face turned a prune color.

"Tetheus's part comes in later," Kharl explained, "Now, Garfakcy, please get on with it. You're holding up the whole play!"

The servant swallowed a giant lump in his throat, and slowly reached out a hand to lay on Kitchel, making a mental note to himself to never go into one of his master's therapy classes ever again.

His hand landed on the girl's hip.

"Now, Kitchel, you-" began the Yokai, but the girl was way ahead of him.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" she shouted, shooting out her leg to kick him in the stomach.

Garfakcy went down gasping for air.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kitchel shrieked, landing powerful punching blows to both side of the servant's head.

"YAAAAAH! YAAAAAAAAH! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" she bellowed, continuing on her quest for vengeance as she elbowed him in the jaw, stomped on his legs, and finally knocking the wind out of him by sitting on his back.

"TAKE THAT, YOU PUTRID PANSY OF A PERVERT!" the girl yelled as she gripped her arms tightly around his neck in a headlock.

"NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!" Kharl yelled, waving his arms frantically at her to stop.

Reluctantly, Kitchel released the servant from her death-grip. Garfakcy brought his head up, wheezing.

"Kitchel," the alchemist said exasperatedly, "You're supposed to call for help!"

"But I totally had him down!" the girl protested, feeling cheated, "Besides, who really needs someone to rescue them?"

"Lots of people!" the Yokai exclaimed, a daydream filling his senses.

_-Dream sequence- _

_A dark-haired young man with a lock of white hair was held in the vile clutches of a purple-haired man with an evil sneer._

_"Nadil, despicable monster," Kharl shouted, brandishing a sword, "Relinquish him at once!"_

_"Kharl-sama," the dark-haired young man whispered softly, "You came…"_

_A small, crystaline tear made its way down his cheek._

_"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the purple-haired man laughed sinisterly, "YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME, RENKIN WIZARD! I AM INVINCEABLE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

_Kharl glared at the man, took out his pouch of ash and flung its contents at the tyrannical maniac, who immediately began to dissolve._

_"Damn, didn't see that one coming," Nadil swore, "AH! I'M MELTING! MELTING!_ _ MELTING!"_** (1)  
**

_Soon there was nothing left but a steaming robe._

_The dark-haired man stood in front of the alchemist, stars-truck in awe, "You dared to venture into Nadil's castle and past his henchman just for me?"_

_"Yes," Kharl breathed, "I love you!"_

_The two embraced passionately._

_"Everything's going to be all right," Kharl promised, running his hand through the young man's dark hair and fingering his white lock._

_"Oh, Kharl-sama, I 'm so happy!" the young man exclaimed, "Lets' never part!"_

_-End Dream sequence-_

"Uh, Mr. Kharl-san?" came a voice through the mists of his vision and the Yokai blinked to see that unfortunately he was back in the room, grinning like a mindless idiot at nothing, while everyone stared at him.

Kharl coughed and inquired, "So sorry about that. Where were we?"

"I was just telling you I ain't gonna play some dumb damsel-in-distress," Kitchel stated loftily.

"Then Tetheus, I'm afraid, will not be able to come to your aid," the therapist stated sadly.

Kitchel blinked, looked over to where the Dragon Officer was standing, then abruptly broke out into screaming, "OH, HELP ME! SOMEBODY PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! OH, WOE IS ME!" the girl wailed, clapping a hand to her head over-dramatically, "HELP! MURDER! RAPE! POLICE! OH, SAVE ME! SAVE ME! Hey! I'm pretty good at this, doncha think!" she exclaimed as everybody sweatdropped.

"All right, Tetheus," Kharl smiled, giving the man the go-ahead.

The Black Dragon Officer made his way across the room to Kitchel.

"Now, save her from Garfakcy," the Yokai gave the order.

Tetheus looked down at the fallen servant who took one glance at the man and immediately played dead. The Dragon Officer stood there for a minute, then turned to Kharl not knowing what else to do.

"Now Kitchel expresses her gratitude," the alchemist directed.

"OH, I HAVE BEEN SAVED BY THE HANDSOMEST MAN IN DUSIS!" Kitchel declared, clasping her hands to her chest, eyes filled with stars, "THANK YOU, KIND, NOBLE, GORGEOUS SAVIOR! FORGIVE ME, FOR I BELIEVE ALL THE RECENT TURMOIL HAS GONE TO MY HEAD! I FEEL LIGHT-HEADED!" then the girl proceeded to swoon, falling face-forward towards the black-haired man.

Tetheus watched as she plowed face-first into the floor.

"HEY!" Kitchel shouted, springing up, a large bump on her forehead, "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CATCH ME!"

"Tetheus, you're not making this any easier on yourself to get out earlier," Kharl stated warningly, "Now try and make conversation with her."

The Black Dragon Officer stared at Kitchel who was looking at him expectantly.

Silence.

Stare.

Silence.

"Tetheus, you're Social Phobia is kicking in again," the alchemist explained, "Fight it, man!"

At last Tetheus opened his mouth and said in his deep monotone voice, "Are you hurt?"

"OH, TETHEUS-SAMA!" Kitchel screamed, her eyes watering, "YOU _DO_ CARE ABOUT ME!"

The man's face, which was just returning to its normal white color, flared red once more.

"Go on, talk some more," the Yokai urged.

"I express my most sincerest relief that you are not harmed. I must go now," Tetheus made his way towards the door.

"WAIT!" Kharl yelled, halting him, "THIS IS JUST TERRIBLE! YOU THINK YOU ARE CURED? FAR FROM IT! I CAN NOT ALLOW YOU TO GO OUT INTO THAT CRUEL, HARSH WORLD UNLESS YOU GIVE ME SOME SORT OF SIGN THAT SOCIAL PHOBIA DOES NOT DICTATE YOUR LIFE!"

And the Black Dragon Officer who had had quite enough of the alchemist's "therapy", marched over to where he was seated, drew out his sword and leveled it under the other's nose threateningly.

"I have you know that I ensure the security of the Dragon Castle and the occupants within it. Simply because I am often on trips alone or do not speak much gives me no cause to fear people. If I indeed possessed this trait, I would hang up my sword and job. A Dragon Officer must interact with people on a daily basis, and nothing must get in the way of the schedule. I speak only when necessary to cut down on mindless chatter, which distracts people from the true task at hand. So, kindly cease this talk about "Social Phobia", open the door, and let a man get on with his long-delayed duty."

There was silence in the room as everyone stared wide-eyed at the Dragon Officer for several seconds, before Kitchel squealed, "WOW! SUCH AN ELOQUENT SPEECH! YOUR VOICE IS SO SULTRY!"

Tetheus ignored the girl as she rushed up to walk beside him as he went to the door and reached for the handle.

Before he could even turn the knob, the door flew open on its hinges, and several Dragon Fighters toppled in.

"CAPTAIN TETHEUS!" they exclaimed in relief, as they got their feet, "YOU'RE SAFE!"

"Safe?" questioned the Black Dragon Officer, raising his eyebrows inquiringly.

"YEAH!" a spiked, yellow-haired Dragon Fighter said, "Alfeegi told us horror-stories of people losing their minds in here and being possessed by 'psycho-maniac' Yokai, just to entertain him whenever he was bored!"

"Really? Well, that's not far from the truth," Tetheus stated and the Dragon Fighters peered into the room, gulping visibly when their eyes landed on the 'psycho-maniac' Yokai who 'possessed' people.

Then their gaze rested on Kitchel who stood calmly beside the Black Dragon Officer, viewing them with mild interest.

"CAPTAIN!" they cried, clutching each other in terror, "ISN'T SHE THAT SLAVE DRIVER FROM THE CAVE?"

Kitchel blinked, then looked closer at the Dragon Fighters and laughed, "Oh yeah! You're the guys who helped take out all those demons! I only remembered Tetheus-sama here!" And she latched onto the man's arm.

"TETHEUS-SAMA?" the Dragon Fighters shouted confusedly, their faces reflecting worry, "WHY'S SHE CALLING YOU THAT, CAPTAIN? WHY IS SHE WITH YOU ANYWAY?"

"Oh, hasn't he told you, yet?" the girl tittered, "I'm Tetheus's girlfriend, so I guess you could say, I'm your new mistress! Teehee!"

Tetheus's face was the color of fire, sweatdrops and veins both aligned his head, and strands of hair were sticking up in all directions.

The Dragon Fighters looked ready to cry.

"CAPTAIN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" they wailed in horror, "PLEASE DON'T TELL US IT'S TRUE!"

"It's not. She's joking," the Black Dragon Officer stated, trying to loosen the girl's grip on his arm.

"OH, DARLING, WHY MUST YOU BETRAY OUR LOVE IN THIS ATROCIOUS MANNER?" Kitchel sobbed brokenly, still managing to cling firmly to the man's arm, "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE PROUD TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT US! I SEE NOW IT WAS JUST A GAME TO YOU! GO! GO! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!BOO-HOO-HOO!"

Kitchel finally relinquished her iron-grip on Tetheus's arm, and blew her nose loudly.

The Dragon Fighters seized their chance, grabbed their captain, and dragged him speechless out of the room, their voices still to be heard in the hallway.

"Alfeegi was right! The Yokai does possess people in his counseling sessions!"

"Don't worry, Captain, will get you free from this love-spell!"

"But," came a deep monotone voce, "I'm sure she was joking. At least, I hope she was."

Finally, their voices faded into the distance, and Kitchel twirled around to face the alchemist smiling broadly, "Hehe, doncha just love psyching people out? Ya know, I think I might just take this whole acting gig to the stage! I'm rally good at it!"

Then the pink-haired girl pranced her way out of the room, humming off-key.

Kharl looked over to where Garfakcy was getting off the floor, sporting numerous bruises and one heck of a black eye.

"Well, I think this counseling session was a success," the Yokai stated, "Did you hear all those sentences Tetheus said at the end?"

And Kharl began to fantasize another daydream about a certain dark-haired Dragon Fighter.

**TO BE CONTINUED…  
**

* * *

**A/N: Here's the long overdue chapter. I have to say, I enjoyed writing this chappie better than the last one. By the way, yes, Social Phobia IS a real disorder. Again, I'll give you the website at the end of the fic. Please share your fav parts, thanx!**

**(1) Nadil's shrinking sequence was taken from the Wicked Witch's destruction in the Wizard of OZ and its respective owners.  
**


	5. Antisocial Personality Disorder

**Disclaimer: **I do not own **Dragon Knights, **Mineko Ohkami does.

**Title: Counseling Sessions**

**Summary: **In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses of temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK members are forced to do the same. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which complete chaos occurs.

**A.N: Bold parentheses with a number inside indicate a footnote which is explained at the bottom.**

**Ch.5. In Which Sabel Is Diagnosed As An Attention-Seeker, Fedelta Turns Out To Be A Violent Pyro-Maniac, And Kharl Schemes Plans Of Attack With Bierrez So Both Can Win The Objects Of Their Affection.**

"So, I expressed my opinion to the Dragon Lord that it might be in his best interest if his foe's side were able to get therapy too. I mean, if his own subjects inside the Palace were able to sort out their differences and learn from this experience, why not the other side as well. And you never know, these counseling sessions may just cause this on-going war to cease-fire. Wouldn't that be nice?"

Kharl finished his speech and beamed at his three new clients seated in their chairs across from him.

Sabel stared blankly at therapist, his jaw hanging open slightly and eyes unfocused as if he was still in shock from hearing Lord Nadil actually agreeing to the Dragon Lord and alchemist's offer. Fedelta was busy passing the time playing with a small flickering ball of fire hovering above his hand, and Bierrez was slumped down in his seat, arms across his chest, glowering at nothing in particular, as he brooded silently.

Kharl sweatdropped and laughed nervously, "Why don't we start off this session by each of you sharing something special about yourself?"

There was several seconds of silence before Sabel finally managed to blink himself out of his dazed stupor and say, "I have a giant pet goldfish, Garaba."

"Yo," Fedelta spoke up, "I like to burn things. FA-FOOM!" and he the small flickering ball of fire above his hand exploded into a large flaming sphere as he hurled it across the room where it made a deep impact in the wall, "HEHEHEHEHE!" the red-haired Yokai snickered sinisterly.

If Garfakcy had been in the room, he might have gone insane. However, since the incident with the pink-haired freak in the last counseling session had gone rather sour, the servant had taken a long-needed break.

And Bierrez simply did not answer the alchemist's request and continued to sulk.

Kharl stared wide-eyed at the three Yokai, before saying in a drawn-out voice, "All…right...that's very…interesting."

There was a pregnant pause once more, before the alchemist finally asked in a rather cautious voice, "Could you be a little more specific with the details?"

"About what?" Sabel questioned, his head reeling, feeling very confused.

"Well, let's start with the Dragon Tribe," Kharl said, "Tell me your feelings about them and let me see what I can decipher about your character."

The alchemist's mentioning of the Dragon Tribe seemed to wake something up inside Sabel, as he bristled furiously and his whole attitude changed suddenly.

"The Dragon Tribe!" the green-haired Yokai spat vehemently, "They think they're so hot! Just because the precious Knights have cooler rides than us! Well, I tell you what, my Garaba may not be as elegant or as swift as that Water dragon, but _BY DUSIS_, HE'S STRONGER! YOU'LL SEE, YOU DRAGONS! LORD NADIL WILL RULE ALL OF YOUR KINGDOM AND LAND SOMEDAY! HAHA! AND I WILL TORMENT ALL OF THE ENSLAVED CAPTIVES, ESPECIALLY THAT ELF DRAGON KNIGHT! HE THINKS HE'S GOT IT MADE JUST BECAUSE HE HAS THE WATER DRAGON _AND_ VARAWOO? I'LL SHOW HIM! NO ONE BESTS ME, I AM SABEL, COLECTER OF CORPSES! BOW BEFORE ME, YOU INSOLENT CURS!"

Kharl's eyebrow twitched slightly as the green-haired Yokai was caught up rather vividly in his daydreamHe scribbled some notes hurriedly down on his pad

"Hey, Mr. Therapist," Fedelta interrupted Sabel's rant, "I'm getting' bored. You don't wanna see me when I'm bored." To prove his point, five, not one, flickering balls of fire sprung from his fingertips.

The alchemist sweatdropped and turned his attention to the red-haired Yokai hastily, "Tell us how _you_ feel about the Dragon Tribe, Fedelta."

"They all get what's coming to 'em," the red-haired Yokai stated in a smug, confident voice, "It's all heat under a match. Lord Nadil takes out Lykuleon, claims the throne, throws the world into complete catastrophic mayhem, and gives his faithful followers the rest of irksome dragons to play with. I'm gonna roast mine slowly, ya know whadda mean? BOOM-BADA-BOOM!"

Now there were six giant gaping holes in the wall. Both Alfeegi and Garfakcy were going to have a coniption fit when they discovered them.

Kharl finished taking notes on Fedelta and turned to the last remaining occupant in the room who had yet spoken, "And what do you think about the Dragon Tribe, Bierrez?" the alchemist inquired, half expecting the orange-haired Yokai not to answer.

But to his great surprise Bierrez did. Quite vehemently too.

"THE DRAGON TRIBE IS NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF LOUSY-LOOKING, SUICIDAL SWORDS-SWINGING, EGOTISTICAL, SPOILED, GIRLFREIND-SNATCHING PAMPERED BRATS!"

"Give it up man," Fedelta said sneering sadistically at his comrade's demise, "She was never your girlfriend. You're delusional."

Bierrez gripped the handle of his sword, and growled like a deranged demon-dog glaring at the floor in frustrated irritation.

Kharl scribbled the last of his notes on the three Yokai with an excited flourish, "Well," he said breathlessly, "Now that you've all given me a piece of your character, let me see what my analysis can come up. Just give me a few minutes alright…Fedelta?" he pleaded earnestly.

"Make it quick," the red-haired Yokai threatened, waving his newest ball of fire, "I'm not patient."

The alchemist sweatdropped, pulled a huge book out of his bag and began feverishly flipping the pages, comparing its contents to that on his notepad.

The three Yokai waited in silence for a several long seconds, each fidgeting idly in their own way. Sabel nervously tugging on strand of cloth that had come lose on his shirt; Bierrez unknowingly scratching the name of the object of his affection on the leg of his chair with his sword; and Fedelta juggling numerous balls of fire in the air. One of the balls veered out of its intended circular course and landed on the arm of Sabel's jacket, burning through.

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHH!" the green-haired Yokai yelped, jumping up and patting down the material of his shoulder, putting the flame out, "WATCH YOUR AIM, IDIOT!" he yelled at Fedelta.

"What was that?" the red-haired Yokai asked calmly, the balls of fire he was juggling, merging into one and becoming a tall, flaming column of fire.

"N-nothing," Sabel stuttered, casting his eyes around avidly for a diversion, "HEY!" he exclaimed, pointing to the title of the huge book Kharl was paging through, "LOOK WHAT THAT SAYS!"

Even Bierrez's attention was caught, "Demon's Diary of Diagnosed Disorders," he read, "Huh, so that's what tells him what kind of psychos we all are."

"Hey, do you think there could be any connection between that book and the manga, **Demon Diary**?" **(1) ** Sabel inquired excitedly.

"You read that kind of crap?" Fedelta scoffed amused, "You're more weird than I thought."

"It's not crap!" Sabel seethed, "Even if the plot's a little unclear, it has great drawing structure and unique characters! Especially Raenef, even though she doesn't have the brains of a three year old, she's kinda cute."

"You do know Raenef's a guy, right?" Fedelta stated smirking.

"What?" Sabel said blinking, then glared at the red-haired Yoaki, "Quit messing with me!"

"I'm not messing with you," Fedelta said, his smirk growing wider, and Bierrez shook himself out of his sulking mood to laugh, "Man, I can't believe you read the whole series and didn't realize that he's a guy!"

"FOR REAL?" Sabel shrieked in horror, "SHE'S A GUY?"

"Ya know, Bierrez," Fedelta stated airily to the orange-haired Yokai, "Ever notice that the Water Dragon Knight would look like Raenef if his hair was tied up?"

"Yeah," Bierrez grinned toothily, feeling a mad glee in tormenting the green-haired Yokai, "Makes you wonder…"

"WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?" Sabel raged, "YOU TWO ARE SICK!"

Fedelta and Bierrez's twin smiles of evil and their sadistic laughter was cut off by a triumphant shout.

"AHA!" Kharl exclaimed with fire in his eyes, jumping out of his seat; notepad and book clenched fast in both hands, "I HAVE FOUND IT! YOUR DIAGNOSES! NOW I SHALL STATE THEIR SYMPTOMS AND FIGURE OUT A CURE FOR ALL OF YOU! AND BELIEVE ME, YOU THREE NEED IT DESPERATELY!"

"This guy's really annoying," Bierrez muttered.

"I'd barbecue him if Lord Nadil hadn't put his foot down," Fedelta stated, making his newest fireball do a twirl on his finger-top.

And Sabel was lamenting over how tragic it was for Raenef to be a guy.

"Alright," Kharl said, settling back in his chair, "Let's begin with you Sabel. You have what's called Histrionic Personality Disorder!"

"What's that?" the green-haired Yokai asked, breaking out of his grief with curiosity.

"Having this disorder means that you are uncomfortable in situations which you are not the center of attention," the alchemist stated smiling, "Do you agree?"

"NO, I BLOODY WELL DON'T!" Sabel screeched in fury, as the other two Yokai snickered, "THAT'S A LIE!"

"Oh, please," Bierrez scoffed, "What do you call that dramatic entrance bursting out of that dead girl's head with all that black water? And those exaggerated moves you did tp psyche out those Dragon Knights. And that long chase you lead them on purposefully? That's what I call seriously vying for attention."

"OOH, YOU SEE?" Kharl shouted happily, "Those are more symptoms! Shows self-dramatization, theatrically, and exaggerated expression of emotion."

"HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT **MINEKO OHKAMI** HAS TO INTORDUCE NEW CHARACTERS IN THE MOST ELABORATE FASHION AS POSSIBLE!" Sabel cried, feeling as if everyone was ganging up on him.

"It's not your choice on the manner of how to do the scenes, but I'm guessing it was your choice to wear that short jacket with all the fur and that skirt and those heels," Fedelta said eyeing the outfit with distaste.

"THIS EVIL, CRAZED AUTHOR FORCED ME TO!" Sabel yelled turning red, "AND IT'S A CALLED A WRAP, NOT A SKIRT! THERE ARE SLACKS UNDERNEATH! AND I AM NOT WEARING HEELS! THEY'RE BOOTS WITH A VERY HIGH BACK!"

"Whatever," the red-haired Yokai shrugged, turning to the alchemist to state, "It's getting' boring," he waved his fireball warningly.

"Hahahaha!" Kharl chortled nervously, reciting the rest of Sabel's symptom's off as quickly as possible, "Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions, as your conversations showed before. Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self, such as just now."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Sabel screamed, trying to desperately to defend himself, "THE AUTHOR SAID IN EVERY DK SHRINE SHE VISITS, THEY ALL HAVE ME PICTURED IN SOME SORT OF FEMALE GET-UP AND IT WOULD BE UNFAIR FOR HER VIEWERS TO VISUALIZE ME OTHERWISE! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL OR WHAT?"

"Yes, you do," Bierrez jeered at his fellow Yokai, "Just like _Raenef_ looks like a girl."

"YOU LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS!" Sabel frothed at the mouth.

"Still in denial, I see," the orange-haired Yokai shook his head.

Sabel couldn't contain his temper and flung himself at Bierrez, ready to do battle. Once again, the alchemist had to use his ash powder on his clients to lock them in place.

Kharl continued reading as if nothing had happened, "Is suggestible and easily influenced by others or circumstances. You should not have given in to the author without a fight."

"_FIGHT?"_ the green-haired Yokai raved, "I FOUGHT FOR MY LIFE! BUT THEN SHE CALLED ALL THE FANGIRLS OVER AND THEY HAD ME PINNED DOWN SO I COULDN'T EVEN MOVE! I DON'T KNOW WHOSE WORSE! HER OR OUR CREATOR! THEY'RE BOTH CRUEL, SADISTIC CHICS WHO GET THEIR KICKS OUT OF SOMEONE ELSE'S OR RATHER ONE OF THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTER'S MISERY!

"This is _boooooring_," Fedelta sang out, tossing his fireball from one hand to the other.

"RIGHT, SABEL, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU!" a rather flustered alchemist stated and turned to the red-haired Yokai, his pad at ready, "O.K., Fedelta, here's your problem. It's called Antisocial Personality Disorder. This means you fail to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest. Does this sound familiar to you?"

"If you're talkin' 'bout all those times people were complaining about me busting in uninvited and destroying their homes and lives, then yep," the red-haired Yokai confirmed with a stoic expression.

"Oh dear, dear, this is worse than I thought," Kharl _tsked_ as he went on naming the symptoms, "Lack of remorse as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another."

"I don't need to waste my time snivelling over things like that. 'Sides I think you got it all wrong with me having no feelings about what I did," Fedelta said.

"I do?" the alchemist questioned excitedly. Perhaps one of his clients would at last be able to have a breakthrough.

"Yup," the red-haired Yokai acknowledged, "I don't feel emotionless when I set things on fire…IT FEELS FREAKIN' GOOD! BURN, BABY! YEA-YAH! WAHAHAHAHAAHA!"

This time flames not only exploded from Fedelta's fingertips, but his head, shoulders and entire body, then proceeded to fling themselves on the nearest viable objects. Namely, Sabel, Bierrez, and Kharl.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sabel screamed doing a wild sort of dance to avoid the raging flames as they leapt at him. Unfortunately, this was not enough to stop his clothes from catching on fire, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" he shrieked in horror, "MY SKIRT! I MEAN-_WRAP_!"

"YOU PYRO-MANIAC!" Bierrez screeched as he dived for cover behind his seat, "TAKE A CHILL-PILL!"

"Reckless disregard for safety of self or others," Kharl scribbled furiously, his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth, not noticing his poofy-hair ablaze, "Consistent irresponsibility as indicated by repeated failure to sustain normalcy behavioral patterns."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Fedelta laughed insanely, "NOW _THIS_ IS THE OPPOSITE OF BORING! YES, _IGNITE_, MY FLARING FLAMES OF FIRE! GO! COOK, ROAST, SCORCH, _CONSUME_! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Needless to say, this might have ended very tragically for everyone including the fire's caster, if Sabel hadn't finally remembered one of his special abilities.

"BLACK WATER!" he shouted, flinging out his arm and dousing the pyro-mani-er, _Fedelta_, with the dark liquid as it came spewing down it one gigantic, elegant-crested wave.

"WHAT THE HELL?" the red-haired Yokai roared, as his flames went out abruptly and all that was left was sizzling steam, "HOW DARE YOU? YOU'VE KILLED THE NOBLE FIRE! DIE!" And he launched himself at Sabel.

Or tried too.

Because once again, another of the room's occupants had to be locked in place with the therapist's ash.

"Irritability and aggressiveness as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults," Kharl explained as he clasped his hands together in glee and smiled broadly, "My, this session is coming along just great! All your pent-up feelings are being revealed in your diagnoses! Sabel, thank you for saving us all from hospitalization, but you do realize there was no need for that theatrical appearance. One sloppy splash of water would have done the trick, as well as the beautifully-made wave, you know. Sadly, your Histrionic Disorder kicked in, but never fear, we'll cure you yet!"

"Gee, swell!" the green-haired Yokai thanked sarcastically, "Next time, I'll just let him fry you to a crisp and save myself!"

"Now, Fedelta," the alchemist addressed turning to the fuming fire demon, "Share with us the reason you decided to incinerate your fellow Yokai. What motivation do you have planned?"

"Nothing," Fedelta muttered, shrugging, "Just thought it wouldn't be boring any more."

"I see…" Kharl drawled out, sweatdropping slightly. Then from his pad he read out loud, "Impulsilvity or failure to plan ahead. Mmmm, you know, I suspect you might be the hardest case I have yet."

"That's cool," the red-haired Yokai stated, "I mean hot."

"Alright, well, you just wait there, Fedelta, and Sabel, you make sure he gets all wet if he starts on another tangent of his. And please, do try and decease from your theatrics," the alchemist requested while Sabel glowered.

Kharl turned to Bierrez, who had resumed sitting in his chair after Fedelta's fire had been put out. The orange-haired Yokai had gone back to his earlier sulking mood.

"Bierrez," the alchemist sighed, "Bierrez, Bierrez, Bierrez…I'm almost afraid to go into your diagnosis, since your two comrades have reacted a bit…unhinged-like. But this therapy is for your own good, and though you haven't said much, I think it's safe to assume that you have Adjustment Disorder."

Kharl waited for an inquiry on the subject or another violent outburst, but received none. Bierrez continued to sulk.

"Yes," Kharl said nodding, "You have Adjustment Disorder, because you refuse to face reality. This so-called girlfriend you pine after is merely one example. I am sure there are many more portrayals in your life. So, to cure you of this disfunction, we must first have you look at how things truly stand in life. Let's start with this girl you keep talking about. When I asked about the Dragon Tribe earlier, you grew very disgruntled and said they were 'girlfriend-snatchers' among other unpleasantries. Would you care to elaborate on this?"

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE WAY WOMEN'S MINDS WORK!" the orange-haired Yokai burst out suddenly, springing out of his seat, "THEY HAVE THE BAD-ASS STEAK IN FRONT OF THEM THEIR WHOLE LIVES, JUST WAITING TO BE EATEN, AND WHAT DO THEY DO? THEY GO AND CHOOSE THE LAMEST DISH OF COLD SUSHI THAT COMES ALONG! WHAT _DOES_ SHE SEE HIM? ALL THE DUDE DOES IS TRY AND KILL HIMSELF, MAKING HER SAD AND YET SHE FOLLOWS HIM AROUND LIKE A LOST PUPPY! I CAN MAKE HER A LOT HAPPIER THAN HIM, AND BESIDES I SAW HER FIRST BEFORE HIM!"

"Ah, I see where this is going," the alchemist said, folding his hands in his lap, "You think that this guy is cutting in on your claim and you feel as if he is stealing your love from under your nose?"

"YES!" Bierrez roared, clenching his sword tightly, wishing he could slice the reason for his anger in half.

"Believe me, I know how you feel," Kharl sniffed, dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief, while his mind raged in misery and fury about a certain dark-haired Dragon Knight and an devious, seducing person with an alter ego.

"I TELL YOU, I HAD HER EATING OUT OF THE PALM OF MY HAND!" Bierrez continued on his rant, "IT WAS TRUE LOVE, I TELL YOU! ALL THOSE INSULTS AND BLOWS SHE KEPT THROWING AT ME, TOKENS OF AFFECTION!"

"Oh, I totally can sympathize with you!" the alchemist agreed, the purpose of the counseling session flying out of his mind for the moment, "The object of my affection is always blaming me for how making them the way they are and threatening to kill me, but I know deep down…THERE IS A BURNING PASSION OF DESIRE JUST WAITING TO BE FULLFILLED!"

"And he says I have theatrics," Sabel sneered, shaking his head at his therapist who had clasped his hands to his chest dramatically and was crying tears of determination.

"Yo, did he mention the word 'burning'?" Fedelta inquired, lighting himself up again eagerly.

"SIMMER DOWN!" the green-haired Yokai shouted sweatdropping, dousing the fire demon with water again.

"Dammit," Fedelta swore, his fire reduced to steam once more.

"OUR LOVE WAS LIKE THE GREAT PEOPLE OF LITERATURE!" Bierrez cried, "IT WAS LIKE THAT OF MARK ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA! ROMEO AND JULIET! LUKE SKYWALKER AND MARA JADE!" **(2)**

"Pardon?" Kharl questioned perplexed, "You've lost me there?"

"SKYWALKER AND JADE!" the orange-haired Yokai repeated, "DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT **STAR WARS**? OUR LOVE WAS JUST LIKE THEIRS! I WAS LUKE READY TO PROCLAIM MY UTMOST IDOLIZATION OF HER AND SHE WAS MARA RAKING HER CLAWS OVER MY HEART AND EGO WHENEVER SHE EXPRESSED HER FEELINGS ON ME! PURE, UNDYING DEVOTION!"

"Oh my, this sounds very interesting," the alchemist mused, a hand to his chin, "I _must_ do research on this **Star Wars**."

"AND THEN THAT FIRE DRAGON KNIGHT FREAK BURSTS IN ON THE SCENE AND SHE FALLS HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HIM, AND TOSSES ME AND OUR PERFECT LOVE ASIDE LIKE A WET RAG!" Bierrez exclaimed, outrage evident on his face.

"What was that?" Kharl asked sharply, pulled out of his musing rather quickly, "Did you say something about a fire Dragon Knight?"

Bierrez went on ignoring the inquiry, "WHY, CESIA?" he moaned inconsolably, "WHY, OH WHY, OH WHY?"

Meanwhile the alchemist was putting two and two together and the sum was bogling his mind, "BIERREZ!" he shouted in shock, "THAT GIRL YOU LIKE IS CESIA AND THE GUY YOU HATE IS RATH!"

"No duh," the orange-haired Yokai muttered, continuing with his moping.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kharl shrieked in a triumphant laugh, as a dastardly ploy was rapidly schemed out in his head, "OH, DON'T YOU SEE, BIERREZ? THIS IS PERFECT!"

"PERFECT?" Bierrez yelled, veins popping out angrily, "WHAT'S SO PERFECT ABOUT MY GIRL CHOOSING MY RIVAL OVER ME?"

"NO! NO! NO!" Kharl tried to explain hastily, "WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER OUT! I HAVE TO COUNSEL SEVERAL MORE PEOPLE BEFORE THESE SESSIONS ARE OVER! CESIA WILL COME IN HERE SOONER OR LATER, AND WHEN SHE DOES, I WILL REMIND HER OF YOUR PERFECT LOVE TOGETHER AND CONVINCE HER TO DUMP HER RECENT CRUSH! THEN I WILL GO TO RATH AFTER SHE'S GONE BACK TO YOU AND TELL HIM HOW SHE'S CHEATED ON HIM! AND SINCE HE WILL WANT TO FIND SOLACE AND COMFORT, I WILL BE THERE WITH OPEN, EAGER ARMS AND WE WILL CONSUMMATE OUR LOVE THAT NIGHT! EVERYONE WILL SAIL OFF INTO THE SUNSET AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER! THIS IS FATE, US MEETING, BIERREZ! FATE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

There was silence in the room as everyone stared at the fiendishly chuckling alchemist plotting his villainous plans. Then the orange-haired Yokai finally spoke.

"So," he said slowly, "You like Rath…in _that _way?" There was a pause for several seconds before an evil grin broke over his face, "THIS WILL BE THE GREATEST REVENGE EVER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The session could have gone on forever, with the two Yokia laughing insanely as lightning flashed out of nowhere behind them had Sabel not interrupted.

"Hey, Mr. Therapist," he said, "Aren't you supposed to be finding cures for our 'disorders' right about now? Not that I care about them, but it's getting late and I promised Garaba a play-date with Varawoo. I figured I'd try a one-on-one with the Water Dragon Knight elf. Not only that, but Pyro, here's getting kinda restless."

True to his word, Fedelta looked extremely pissed-off and said with a glare, "I'm REALLY bored."

But both Bierrez and Kharl were having too good of a time to take their fellow Yokai seriously.

"Oh, Fedelta," the alchemist said, waving his hand, "Don't be such a party-pooper."

"Yeah, Sabel," the orange-haired Yokai brushed aside, "Don't lie. We all know the real reason you want to see the Water Knight is to live out your fantasies about Raenef as realistic as possible!"

Both he and Kharl resumed their mad laughter at that, not realizing their fatal mistake.

The green-haired Yokai glared at them, then stepped back a-ways from fire demon and said, "Hey, Fedelta, release your boredom."

The red-haired Yokai gave one wide smirking grin before throwing out his arms, casting fire and screaming, "BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Some time later…

Two rather blackened and scorched-looking(not to mention humbled and humiliate) Yokai sat side-by-side in their seats while Sabel looked on in smug satisfaction and Fedelta crowed his victory.

"WOO-HOO, YEAH! I STILL GOT THE HEAT! HEHEHE!" he stroked his small fireball hovering over his hand lovingly.

"Right," Kharl managed to say through burned, chafed lips, "I think this session needs to be wrapped up as quickly as possible, before Fedelta starts Armageddon; and so I can start planning how I will conduct Cesia's session without leading her on to discover that I am trying to take back from her what rightfully belongs to me. So, Sabel, you first: in order to cease your histrionics, you need a several strong doses of shock to your system, preferably things you fear. This will help you become accustomed to your exaggerated theatrics, since you will undoubtedly react overly-dramatically. Once the initial surprise has worn off, after several incidences, you will act just as ordinary and normal as anyone else. No more histrionics! They'll be gone. So you guys help him out with his disorder until it disappears."

"You know what a good shock to his system would be," Fedelta stated knowingly, "Faeries. For some crazy reason, the dude's as scared of 'em as much as the Dragon Tribe's scared at that mallet-whacking White Dragon Officer."

"I am NOT afraid of faeries!" Sabel scoffed airily, sticking his nose up and turning his head away in time to see Ringleys randomly fly past his face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" the green-haired Yokai shrieked in fear, leaping into Fedelta's lap, "FAERIE! NOOOOOOOOOO! KEEP IT AWAY! DON'T LET IT GET ME! EVIL! WAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Sweatdrops appeared on everyone's forehead and the red-haired Yokai dumped Sabel on the floor and said, "See?"

Kharl coughed and moved on hurriedly, "Very good. Just keep throwing faeries at him until he ceases this ridiculous charade. Alright, Fedelta, on to you. Hehehehe," the alchemist chortled nervously, as if his suggestion for a cure might tip the fire demon's balance off, "For an Antisocial Personality Disorder like yours, I think some anger-management classes are in order. And who better to teach them, than the person of nice-ness herself, Lady Raseleane! Come on, in!"

Everyone gaped as the Dragon Queen walked into the room beaming widely. Upon seeing Fedelta, she gushed, "Oh my! Are you the one then? I can tell it is! All the violent, aggressive types have their hair hang over their eyes so they can sort of _peer_ at you. Ooh, and look, there's that pinched, scowling glare they all use! And of course, those big, ragged clothes they think are in style. Well, I have my work cut out for me then, but never fear, we'll manage together!" And Raseleane squeezed the red-haired Yokai's cheek giggling.

Fedelta stared at the Dragon Queen for a few moments, before bringing up his hand with the hovering fireball and saying slowly, "Buuuurn…"

_SLAP! _

There was a unanimous intake of breath as everyone gasped as Raseleane slapped the fire demon's hand raised hand down and tutted, "Tsk! Tsk! No manners at all! You must always greet a lady by taking her hand and kissing it! It doesn't go the other way around. But I won't hold that against you. I suppose it's your horrid upbringing with Nadil that's made you this way. Don't worry, I'll make you into a gentleman yet!"

The red-haired Yokai blinked in astonishment as the Dragon Queen took him by the arm and started to lead him out of the room chattering excessively, "Now, Fedelta, the first obstacle to overcome your disorder is to stop lying and using deceitfulness. We will not abide sly, conniving tricks like that in this castle. And if you do fall back into your old sinful ways, we have Alfeegi as the perfect cure to that. Of course, if you do feel the need to vent out your frustrations, do not act in haste and attack the nearest defenseless target. Tetheus will be only too happy to challenge you to a duel and you can release your tension there. Now as for your intense obsession with fire, we…"

Fedelta spared a dumbfounded glance backward at his fellow Yokai, as Raseleane rambled on, as if he could not believe what he was hearing.

Through his numerous injuries from the Yokai's previous fire attack, Bierrez managed a smirk.

"Now I don't need to keep you, dear Bierrez," Kharl said, turning him, "Your cure for Adjustment Disorder is going to be handled by me personally. SOON, THE OBJECTS OF OUR AFFECTION WILL BE BY OUR SIDES ONCE MORE AND THIS TIME, WE SHALL NEVER LET THEM OUT OF OUR SIGHT AGAIN!" Then composing himself, the alchemist smiled and said, "So you run along now and don't fret about your girlfriend anymore!"

Bierrez got up and strolled toward the door, whistling confidently, a wild gleam in his eye.

Sabel followed him, sulking slightly about his "cure", "Most idiotic thing I ever heard from," he grumbled, "And I'm _not_ afraid of faeries! I was just startled last time, that's all."

"Hiya!" greeted Miyabi, popping up in front of him.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" the green-haired Yokai screamed in terror, turning to flee.

Problem was, he had another greeter behind him.

"How's it going?" Shian asked.

"AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

Sabel screeched, turning as pasty white as a ghost, as he tried to reach the exit.

"Oh, dear, is something wrong?" Hanakusuku inquired worriedly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

Sabel shrieked, going a dead sort of blue from extreme fright, "GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

It was here that Garfakcy entered the scene at long last, back from his break. The servant gaped at the sight in the room, which consisted of Bierrez laughing crazily at nothing, exclaiming to himself, "CESIA, MY DARLING! YOUR TRUE LOVE IS COMING TO RESCUE YOU FROM YOUR SHAMELESS AFFAIR! NEVER FEAR, THOUGH! I FORGIVE YOU, MY SWEET!".

Fedelta staring blankly at the Dragon Queen, jaw hanging open slightly, while she tittered, hair blackened and bushily-asunder, after falling victim to the red-haired Yokai's "bored" tactics, "Oh, Fedelta! That fire trick was simply marvelous! You HAVE to show it to Lykuleon! This is a GREAT way to get your hair permed faster!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" Sabel cried in horror, running in a mad circle, as he tried to escape the "evil" faeries who were clustered about him concerned.

And Kharl was in the background chuckling gleefully to himself.

Garfakcy's left eye began twitching spontaneously, "Do I even dare to ask?" the servant inquired wearily as he went before the alchemist.

"OH, GARFAKCY, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!" Kharl exclaimed jumping up, fire in his eyes, "I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL NEWS! AFTER THE EVENTS OF THIS SESSION, I NOW FEEL CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO SAY THAT I WANT YOU TO BE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Garfakcy fainted.

**TO BE CONTINUED…  
**

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all liked this chappie and how I portrayed, Sabel, Felly-delly, and Rezzy-kun. I hope I got their characters down right; I've never done them before. I must say, my favorite part about writing this was Fedelta's little pyro-maniac problem! Hehehe! Again, yes, ALL the disorders above are REAL. OK, next chappie's Nadil along with his faithful sidekicks, Shydeman & Shyrendora! And for those of you worried if I forgot Kai-stern or not, never fear, he'll come in several chappies later. Just assume that he's gone on one of his extended travels! Please share your fav parts, thanx!**

**(1)Mentionings of the manga, Demon Diary and its characters associated within that universe are owned by Kara and Lee Chi Hyong.**

**(2)Mentionings of Star Wars and its characters within that universe are owned by George Lucas and Lucasfilm.**

** Also, Romeo and Juliet are owned by William Shakespeare.  
**


	6. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

**Disclaimer: **I don't own **Dragon Knights, **Mineko Ohkami does.

**Title: Counseling Sessions**

**Summary: **In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses of temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK members are forced to do the same. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which complete chaos occurs.

**CH.6. In Which It Is Discovered That Nadil Is Obsessed With Bunnies, Shydeman Is Secretly Scheming Behind The Demon Lord's Back Of How To Outdo Him And Take Over His 'Complete World Domination' Agenda, And Shyrendora Puts New Emphasis On The Term 'Dumb Blonde'.**

It was sickening.

It was unnerving.

It was weird.

It was…oddly fascinating to watch.

Garfakcy stared at the scene, mouth hanging open in disbelief, as the purple-haired Yokai held a mirror out in front of him and made kissy-faces at himself.

"Master," the servant inquired, his left eyebrow going off into spontaneous twitches, "Is that normal?"

"Well, Garfakcy, it _would_ be normal, because all people do tend to do this some time or another," Kharl explained, watching the scenario in front of him with avid interest, "However, in this situation, I think it is safe to say that His Almighty Demonishness…has _severe_ issues."

The Yokai leader affirmed this statement then, by swooning at himself and exclaiming excitedly to his two second-in-commands, "OOH, I'M SO _HOT_! SOMETIMES I WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO CLONE MYSELF, SO I COULD MAKE OUT WITH ME! AFTER ALL, WHO ELSE LIVES UP TO MY STANDARDS OF EXTREME HUNKINESS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Then Nadil scrunched up his eyes, engaged in some sort of fantasy, and drooled.

After Garfakcy's temporary sickness passed, he turned to the alchemist and inquired, "Master, you _can_ clone people, can't you?"

Kharl shot out his arm and clapped a hand over the servant's mouth, sweatdropping, "Garfakcy_, now_ would not be a good time to mention that little detail."

Luckily, for them, the purple-haired Yokai was being berated by Shydeman, on the overview of his "Complete World Domination" campaign.

"Your Almighty Evilness," Shydeman addressed seriously, "I must be frank with you. Unless you want your 'Take Over The World' agenda to be thwarted by these peace-loving, do-gooder Dragons, I suggest that you spend more time on plans of catastrophic chaos and the utter destruction and ruin of the planet, than you do on yourself."

"Oh, come on Shydy!" Nadil pouted in a rather childish way, "Don't be an old grumpmeister!"

"GRUMPMEISTER! HAHA!" Shyrendora giggled insanely, "SHYDY'S A GRUMPMEISTER! HE'S A GRUMPY-MUMPY OLD FUMPY! HAHA!"

"Oh do refrain from your callowness, sister," Shydeman said, obviously used to similar random outbursts.

"HE'S A SILLY-BILLY, MEANIE BO-BEANIE!" Shyrendora shrieked with laughter, "HE'S A STUFFY OLD _FART_!"

Nadil crowed at that, cackling maniacally, "A FART! HAHA! SHYDY'S A FART! BWAHAHAHA!"

And the Demon Lord leapt up from his seat, grabbed Shyrendora's arm and spun her in a mad dance around her brother's chair, while the twoYokai chanted in unsion, "SHYDY'S A FART! SHYDY'S A FART!"

Sweatdrops sprung out on Shydeman's forehead, along with a few, small throbbing veins.

"As much as it kills me to say this," Garfakcy stated to his master, "Perhaps you better start the session soon."

"I do believe you are right," Kharl agreed, watching the scene wide-eyed. Taking his pouch of ash out, he blew its contents towards the group of demons, effectively pulling His Almighty Demonishness and Her Almighty Dumbishness back to their seats.

"There, that's better," the alchemist stated grinning at his newest batch of clients, "Now let's get right down to the diagnosis of things, shall we?"

Nadil crossed his arms and began sulking, not all pleased his merriment had been interrupted. Shyrendora took out a pocket mirror and began applying cosmetics to her face along with her regular war-er, _face_ markings, while Shydeman looked immensely relieved to be left alone.

"Alright!" Kharl exclaimed, the excitement of the prospect of tortur-er, _counseling_ people, making his blood pump madly, "Let's start with you, Lord Nadil. It is quite obvious from what you're suffering from. It is called…Narcissistic Personality Disorder."

The white-haired Yokai waited for a reaction.

There was none.

"Does…anyone have anything to add to that?" Kharl inquired, glancing at the room's occupants.

Shyrendora, having finished putting on her mask, now was busy filing her bright purple nails and blowing humongous bubbles with her gum, and Nadil had found another way of amusing himself by repeatedly poking his second-in-command in the shoulder and whispering, "Stinker Shydy, Stinker Shydy." Strands of hair stuck out on Shydeman's head in all directions as the demon struggled to maintain his composure.

"Ahem," Kharl cleared his throat, trying to get his clients' attentions, "I said His Almighty Evilness has Narcissistic Personality Disorder!"

Shyrendora now was spraying herself with sickly smelling perfume that quickly doused its way all over the room, and Nadil had taken to flinging spitballs at Shydeman who was scowling and gritting his teeth so hard, it sounded like someone was scraping their fingernails over a chalkboard.

Garfakcy, quite fed up with his master being ignored and wanting the session to be over with as quickly as possible, stomped over to the group, snatched Shyrendora's perfume bottle and sprayed it into the Demon Lord's face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" Nadil shrieked, pawing at his eyes, "I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND!" Then as his nose clogged up from the smell, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGH! CADD BREED! CADD BREED!" (Translation: Can't Breathe! Can't Breathe!).

"Thank you, Garfakcy," the alchemist said sweatdropping, making sure never to get on his servant's badside, "I think."

"Now," Kharl said smiling, turning back to the group, "Is everyone ready to listen to me?"

Shyrendora and Shydeman nodded wide-eyed at their therapist and the Demon Lord bobbed his head emphatically as he sneezed violently into his lace handkerchief.

"WONDERFUL!" the alchemist beamed, taking out his notebook, "Very well then. As I was saying, Lord Nadil has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which I am going to name the symptoms out and I want you, Shydy and Dora, to affirm or refute whether they are true or false. Symptom number one: a persuasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, and has an air of self-importance. Does any of that sound familiar to you two?"

"I don't understand," Shyrendora stated blankly, looking very confused, "What do all those words mean?"

There were several seconds of silence as everyone sweatdropped, until Shydeman spoke up.

"I believe I can help with that," the pale-haired Yokai said, clearly wishing revenge on his leader for all the past name-calling, "Yes it is all true. Lord Nadil likes his image to seem unfallible and all-powerful. That's why he always tries to make his debut by appearing suddenly out of thin air, as you'll note in **Dragon Knights, volumes 2, 12, and 18. **I think it makes him feel as if he is a god or something immortal. Also, he loves to be worshipped too. That's why you always see us groveling and almost kissing his feet. That's a rule he laid down for his henchman."

"Devil Dudes," came a sniffling, nasaly-sounding voice from the Demon Lord, whose nose was still closed from the perfume, "I dubbed our army the Devil Dudes."

"I still like the Muffin Brigade," Shyrendora stated, fiddling with her hair, "Although the Skipping Daisies sound good too!"

Once again, there was a long pause as everyone gaped at her for a while, before Kharl continued naming the symptoms.

"Symptom number two: exaggerates achievements and talents. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love," the alchemist raised an eyebrow waiting for a response.

Shydeman burst out laughing at that, exclaiming, "By Dusis, wizard! Where have you BEEN? Everyone knows that His Almighty Evilness's main goal is to triumph in Complete World Domination! When he's not swooning over his image, he's having agenda meetings!"

"YES!" Nadil cried mightily, leaping up from his seat, fire in his eyes, "ONE DAY I SHALL RULE ALL! AND ALL SHALL BOW AND PROCLAIM MY GLORY! MWHAHA! WHATEVER I WANT, I WILL HAVE! AND THE FIRST THING I WILL DO IS TO ESTABLISH MY REIGN THROUGH EVIL, DERANGED PINK BUNNIES! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"But I thought you said you wanted to enslave everyone to make you blueberry jam and chocolate eternally," Shyrendora stated blinking at the Demon Lord a bit spaced out, while everyone's mind was still reeling over the 'evil, deranged, pink bunnies' thing.

"Dora, HOW MANY times do I have to explain this?" Nadil sighed exasperatedly, "You have to first TAKE OVER, and THEN you enslave them! AND MY EVIL, DERANGED, PINK BUNNIES WILL BE THE BEST WAY TO GO ABOUT IT! After all, they keep going and going and going! THEY WILL MAKE PEOPLE FEAR AND RESPECT ME! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

_That or make a laughingstock of him,_ Garfakcy thought sweatdropping, _And I thought_ _that guy obsessed with teddy-bears was crazy!_

"MY PLAN IS BRILLIANT, I TELL YOU! _BRILLIANT!_" the Demon Lord cackled evily, "I AM A_ SUPER-GENIUS_! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Kharl was aware of his mouth hanging open in either shock or amazement. In any event, he coughed and finished hurriedly, deciding it would be best if the session were over quickly, "Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. Heh, I think the last little outburst answered that. So, then, we simply have to find a way to stop you from thinking of yourself all the time."

"Fat chance," Shydeman scoffed.

"Yes, but we'll work on that in a little while," the alchemist explained, "For now, let's move on and diagnose your sister."

"You don't have tell me what she has," Shydeman said airily, "I already know. It's called Dumb Blond-itis."

"So, are you including yourself in that implication?" Kharl questioned shrewdly.

There was several seconds of silence as the pale-haired Yokai glared at the therapist, as if he could slay him with his eyes.

"Hahahaha!" the alchemist laughed nervously, before turning to Shyrendora and asking, "Well, Dora, share with us. Do you consider yourself to be a dumb blonde or are you angry at us making an unjust accusation?"

"Y-you think I'm d-dumb?" quivered Shyrendora, before bursting into tears, "WAAAAAAAAAAHHH! T-THAT'S NOT FAIR! JUST BECAUSE I TRY TO PUT LOOKS BEFORE SMARTS! A GUY DOESN'T LIKE A GIRL CUZ OF HER BRAIN, YOU KNOW! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"Nice going" Shydeman stated, "She'll be at it for hours now."

Kharl broke out into a sweat, trying desperately to soothe his clients nerves, "NO! NO! I don't think you're dumb! I was-that is-ah, when I say 'dumb blonde' I'm referring to, er…GARFAKCY, HELP ME!"

The servant sighed, resigning himself for another long drawn-out session of hysterical chaos. Going over to the female Yokai, he took a stance before her and said, "You're blonde. You have no clue whatsoever. And you're dumb. Face the facts. Master Kharl is more intelligent than you."

There was silence in the room as Shyrendora stared speechelss; Kharl wondered whether the statement was a compliment or not; Lord Nadil was oblivious to the whole incident still sniggering maniacally to himself about 'evil, deranged, pink bunnies'; and Shydeman flinched and sunk low in his chair, the only one who knew the impending doom to come.

There was a sudden outraged screech then and everyone was drawn out of their musings in time to see Shyrendora sprang out of her seat and towered over the servant dangerously, her voice rising several octaves, "SO YOU THINK I'M DUMB, AM I?"

Grafakcy had a sudden revelation then that it was never wise to goad females.

"IF I'M DUMB, CAN I DO THIS, THEN?" Shyrendora screamed, flinging out her hand and casting a magic spell at the hapless servant who disappeared in a cloud of smoke and reappeared a second later.

As a rat.

As a green rat.

As a green rat who squeaked in fear and scurried across the room zig-zagging to avoid Shyrendora's lightning bolts.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the female Yokai laughed triumphantly, hands on hips.

Kharl's eyes were bugging out so much, he looked like a frog. Shydeman seemed unpertrubed at his sister's sudden mood swing, and His Almighty Demonishness was struck by a flash of inspiration by the spectacle.

"THAT'S IT!" Nadil cried, snapping his fingers excitedly, "I SHALL GIVE MY EVIL, DERANGED PINK BUNNIES LIGHTNING POWERS TO KEEP THE PEOPLE IN LINE! HOO-HAH! I'M _SO_ VILLAINOUS! _GO, ME!_ YEAH! MWHAHAHAHAHA!"

Meanwhile, the alchemist was sincerely wishing he had never suggested the Demon Tribe get counseling. The Dragon Tribe, though much crazier, was less violent (excluding that Officer with the mallet). Not only that, but he could have already had been in a session with his beloved by now! Instead he was forced to listen to plans of Complete World Domination made possible by evil, deranged, pink bunnies! What could be next?

Shyrendora turned around to her brother and the therapist giggling.

Kharl gulped and braced himself.

"Mr. Kharl-san, I was wondering," the female Yokai inquired puzzled, "Isn't your hair what they call 'white-blonde'?"

The alchemist lost his balance and fell over, while Shydeman burst out laughing sinisterly and stated, "That explains _a lot_!"

Kharl managed to pick himself back up and decided to just leave Shyrendora alone for the time being. Anything said to her would be blown off course or way out of proportion.

Coughing, the alchemist turned to a still snickering Shydeman, and said, "You can stop this whole charade now. I'm on to you, Shydy-boy!"

"I don't have the faintest idea of what you're referring to," Shydeman said loftily.

"Ohohohohoho!" Kharl cried, his turn to laugh, "You think I have no idea of how to secretly scheme behind another's back to obtain the goal you've long strived after! You think I don't know of what it's like to have others who are less deserving than you are hinder your path to that goal? To have the very goal you seek slip out of your grasp due to others tampering with it! JUST WAIT FOR ME A LITTLE WHILE LONGER, MY BELOVED! I WILL RESCUE YOU SOON!"

"Look," Shydeman said to the white-haired Yokai who was punching his fist in the air determinedly, "I have no idea what _your _problem is or what kind of therapy _you_ need over it, but if you're implying that I am attempting to out-best His Almighty Demonishness and claim ruler-ship in Complete World Domination-"

"AHA!" the alchemist crowed victoriously, "YOU SAID IT! NOT ME!"

"Well, you have to admit," Shydeman stated calmly, "Anything would be better than _that_."

The pale-haired Yokai pointed a finger at the Demon Lord who was gazing out into space, rubbing his chin, and having one of his 'evil moments' plotting dastardly plans of chaotic destruction.

"MWAHAHAHAHA! YES! OOH! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! OHO! AHA! HEHE! AFTER MY EVIL, DERANGED, PINK BUNNIES WITH LIGHTNING POWERS ENSLAVE EVERYONE, I SHALL HAVE THEM WORK IN A FACTORY WHERE THEY WILL DUTIFULLY MAKE ME BLUEBERRY JAM AND CHOCOLATE EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES! WHAHA! ONLY, I WILL KEEP SOME FOR SERVANTS SO AS THEY CAN POLISH AND SHINE ALL THE STAUTUES OF ME IN MY PALACE OF DARKNESS AND EVIL AND THEN I WILL KEEP SOME FOR PETS, SO I CAN CUDDLE AND HUG THEM AND STROKE THEIR SOFT, FLUFFY FUR BECAUSE THEY'RE SO DARN CUTE! BWAHAHAHAHA! I MUST GO AND ORDER SOME RIGHT NOW!"

And Nadil rushed from the room, skipping in a mad sort of glee.

"Perhaps you're right," Kharl agreed sweatdropping, "Well, I won't try and hinder your goal…UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE WHO DO!" Then composing himself, the alchemist clapped his hands and stated, "So, all that is left is trying to help everyone on their way to recovery! Shydeman, I suggest you should at least give it one more try of staying under His Almighty Evilness's rule. You could help him be a better, more devious demon than he is. If that doesn't work then, well…BULLY FOR A CHANCE OF SIEZING YOUR GOAL AND TASTING THE TREASURED PRIZE AT LAST! NOT TO MENTION SAVORING EVERY BITE! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

Kharl was practically drooling by now, his eyes glazed over.

"You scare me," Shydeman stated wide-eyed, sweatdropping.

The alchemist swallowed the mouthful of salvia he had made and moved onto Shyrendora, "Perhaps you should encourage your sister to get angry more. It seems to help spark that hidden spot of knowledge inside her. Oh, and maybe persuade her to die her hair. That might help too."

"Wouldn't that be called 'artificial intelligence'?" Shydeman questioned.

"SHYDY! MR.KHARL! LOOK!" Shyrendora shouted, "THERE'S A MOUSE IN HERE! AND IT'S GREEN! HOW ODD!"

Everyone turned to view the forgotten Garfakcy still in rodent-form, squeaking shrilly, trying to get their attention.

"But," Kharl inquired sweatdropping, "Don't you remember what you did?"

"Did what?" Shyrendora asked blinking blankly.

"She has very short memory spans," Shydeman explained to the alchemist, before turning to his sister and saying, "And it's not a mouse, Dora. It's a _rat_."

Shyrendora immediately broke out into a fresh supply of water as she jumped up from her chair and fled the room bawling, "THAT'S RIGHT, SHYDY! ALWAYS MAKING ME SOUND STUPID! WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER! I STILL KNOW HOW TO PUT ON MAKE-UP BETTER THAN YOU!"

"OHO!" Kharl cried, narrowing his eyes at her brother, "Perhaps, we should make another appointment for you sometime, eh, Shydy?"

"SHE'S LYING!" the pale-haired Yokai protested, leaping up indignantly, just as a lip-stick case fell out of his robes.

Kharl merely smiled knowingly.

"SHE PLANTED IT ON ME!" Shydeman yelled, his face quite red, as it was his turn to flee madly out of the room, _"YOU'RE DEAD, DORA!"_

The alchemist _tsked, _shaking his head at the tragedy of it all, until an image of a certain dark-haired Dragon Knight appeared in his head, wearing lipstick, eye-shadow, and blush, complete in a pink nightgown. Then Kharl tripped over his own feet and fall flat on the floor, unable to get up, paralyzed by the tantalizing picture in front of his eyes.

Garfakcy would have to find some way to tolerate his rat-form for a few more hours.

Kharl wasn't going to get up any time soon.

**TO BE CONTINUED…  
**

* * *

**A/N: I hope this chapter was worth the wait! After this one, we only have four more chappies to go until the fic's complete! I like to go back and re-read the parts which made you all laugh! Ah, it feels great to be writing my fav fic again! I can't wait until I get to Rath! Please share your fav parts, thanx!**


	7. The Game of Love

**Disclaimer: **I do not own **Dragon Knights, **Mineko Ohkami does.

**Title: Counseling Sessions**

**Summary: **In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses of temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK members are forced to do the same. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which complete chaos insues.

**A/N: Bold parentheses with a number inside indicate a footnote explained at bottom.**

**Ch.7. In Which Lykuleon and Raseleane Are Disgustingly Lovely-Dovey, Lamgarnas Reveals Secrets Gil Would Rather Have Had Remained Secrets, Alfeegi Discovers What Having A Toddler For Your Soulmate Entails, and Kharl Renacts Romeo And Juliet.**

"Raseleane."

"Lykuleon."

_"Raseleane."_

_"Lykuleon."_

"RASLEANE!"

"LYKULEON!"

_Well, at least they know each other's names,_ Garfakcy thought sweatdropping as he watched the two rulers of the Dragon Kingdom continue their odd mating habits.

"OH, RASIE-BEAR, YOU ARE THE FILLING IN MY REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP!" **(1) **the Dragon Lord exclaimed boisterously, as he gazed deeply into his beloved queen's eyes.

"AND YOU, LYKIE-POO, ARE THE CHOCOLATE ON MINE!" the Dragon Queen gushed ecstatically, flinging her arms around her husband's neck and giggling like a three-year-old who had just eaten all the cookies in the cookie jar.

"Master, are you going to just let them go on like this the whole session?" the servant asked Kharl, "I don't see what it's going to accomplish other than making everyone want peanut butter cups."

"Patience, Garfakcy, patience," the Yokai stated as he watched the twitter-patted couple, imagining two other people in their place.

_-Dream Sequence-_

_A dark-haired young man clothed in a pale blue dress stood on a balcony surrounded by crawling ivy and roses. The moonlight glinted off his raven hair and illuminated his figure, making him seem almost ethereal. _

_"Kharl-sama, Kharl-sama," the dark-haired young man breathed softly to the star-studded night sky, "Be where are thou, my Kharl-sama?"_

_"Here, my beloved, prince of your heart," came the reply of the Renkin Wizard clothed all in white, as he appeared from hiding out of the bushes and began climbing up the siding against the wall which the ivy was growing on._

_"Oh, Kharl-sama, lingereth not here! Dost thou wanteth to be killed?" the dark-haired young man tried to ward off, "Thy presence is not welcome by my clan."_

_"If I shall have stayeth away from thee, but a day more, I shalt have died!" declared Kharl firmly as he leapt over the balcony and swept his beloved into his arms, "Let us not goeth on a second longer without each other in our lives. Please, my beloved, telleth me we should deserteth this desolate place and flieth away together!"_

_"Kharl-sama!" gasped the dark-haired young man in a shocked but hope-filled voice, "Thou hast filled my bosom with undenied joy! Wilt thou finally maketh me yours?"_

_"Yes, my beloved!" proclaimed the Yokai, clutching the young man tighter to his chest, "A thousand times a thousand times, yes!"_

_The two moved their heads to capture each other's lips in a bruising, desperate kiss._

_-End Dream Sequence- _**(2)**

"EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" Kharl cackled insanely, throwing his head back in uncontrolled glee.

Garfakcy found himself oddly irritated at nothing in particular for some reason.

"COULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY I AM HERE WITH THIS PSYCHO-MANIAC YOKIA AFTER I ALREADY HAVE BEEN POSSESSED IN ONE OF HIS SO-CALLED 'COUNSELLING' SESSIONS?" came a shrill, vengeful screech from one of the room's occupants.

The shout broke Kharl out of his blissful reverie, and he blinked, turning towards the sound of the interruption.

The White Dragon Officer was sitting sullenly in his chair, arms crossed defiantly, and eyes glaring viciously at the therapist and his servant.

"Well, my dear Dragon Officer," the white-haired Yokai explained a bit testily, irked that he had been pulled away from his wonderful daydream, "This counseling session features couples and exploring their relationships, as you can see."

Kharl waved to Lykuleon and Raseleane still caught up in their expressions of undying love and to a more quiet pair, Lamgarnas and Gil, who was sitting close together on the couch.

"I hadn't intended for you to come initially," the alchemist confessed, "However, having thought back on our last meeting, I realized it would do you a world of good to join us. See, it is my understanding that one's other half brings out the best in you. And you, Sir Alfeegi, no offence, need all the help you can get! So, first things first, let's bring in your significant other-Reema!"

Alfeegi's death glare was abruptly halted at that as a small girl with purple hair and two long yellow side-locks appeared suddenly out of thin air in front of him with a _POOF!_

"YEAH! ALFEEGI! MY DESTINED ONE, I'M HERE!" the small girl squealed happily as she flew merrily over to the surprised man and flung her tiny arms around his neck.

"R-Reema?" the White Dragon Officer sputtered in shock.

"REEMA! THAT'S ME!" the girl shrieked smiling widely.

"AH! LYKIE-SAMA! I'VE FOUND THE CUTEST DOLL!" came Raseleane's giggling titter as she plucked Reema from around Alfeegi's neck and squeezed her tightly, "She'll look so cute on the shelf with the rest of my stuffed animals!"

"Er, Milady," Alfeegi stated sweatdropping, "I don't think you should-"

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the Dragon Queen screamed as Reema sunk her teeth into the hands holding her, "THAT THING IS…ALIVE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Raseleane abruptly let loose her hold on the girl.

"I'M NO DOLL! I AM REEMA, THE NOBLE FAERIE OF DEATH, AND YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR INSULANCE!" the small girl shouted in fury.

"The…Faerie of Death?" Raseleane said out loud blinking for awhile, before the implication finally hit her, "AAAAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! I HAVEN'T BEEN NAMED QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE YET! I STILL HAVE FANCLUBS TO FORM! WHAT ABOUT ALL THE CELEBRITY APPEARANCES I HAVE TO MAKE WITH LYKULEON TO BLATANTLY TOSS AROUND THE FACT THAT I'M MARRIED TO THE HANESOMEST STUD IN THE WORLD AND NO ONE CAN HAVE HIM? WAH!"

Everyone in the room sweatdropped intensely as the Dragon Queen continued her blubbering.

"YOU'RE HURTING MY DELICATE EARS WITH YOUR HORRIBLE SINGING!" Reema screeched, "YOU MUST BE THWARTED!"

Then the small girl whipped a humongous mallet from seemingly nowhere behind her and began chasing Raseleane around the room.

"Hmmm, a small, short-tempered person complete with a mallet. Yep! She's your soulmate, alright!" Lykuleon grinned, giving Alfeegi a good whack on the back.

The White Dragon Officer's head was drenched in sweat.

"Somebody please tell that's not what I act like," the man pleaded.

There were muffled snorts all over the room.

"All right, people, let's settle down now!" Kharl clapped, wanting to get on with the session. After all, another session over, another session closer to his beloved!

The alchemist sweatdropped as no one paid any attention to him, distracted by the two females racing nilly-willy around the room.

"It seems I always have to use this," the therapist sighed, pulling out his pouch of ash and blowing its contents towards Raseleane and Reema who were abruptly yanked apart and into their significant other's laps.

"OOH! ALFEEGI," Reema squealed with star-struck eyes up at him, her one-track mind forgetting the recent unpleasantness and moving forward, "YOU'RE SO DREAMY! HEEHEE!"

The White Dragon Officer's face turned red.

There was another _POOF!_ suddenly then, and everyone looked to see a tall brown-skinned man with a red symbol on his bald head standing in their midst.

"Duma?" Reema said surprised.

"I've just come to warn you," the man addressed to Alfeegi, "That as the girl's guardian, I will not hesitate to punish you if you misuse the manners of conduct towards her. Be warned, your head going missing is not the only thing you will need to worry about."

And with another _POOF!_ the man was gone.

And everyone had broken out into a sweat, except for Alfeegi who was wide-eyed in shocked silence.

Kharl rushed over to the Dragon Lord in panicked anxiety.

"YOU MAJESTY!" the Yokai screamed shrilly, "YOUR FIRE DRAGON KNIGHT DOESN'T HAVE A GUARDIAN LIKE THAT, DOES HE?"

"Er, no," Lykuleon stated a bit confused at the question.

The alchemist gave a tremendous sigh of relief and began heading back to his chair, clutching his chest.

"Of course, Kai-stern is always looking after Rath and protecting him from harm, so I assume that would make him one," came the Dragon Lord's musing.

Kharl lost his balance and crashed to the floor.

Garfakcy could not help but smile smugly. This counseling session was really growing on him!

Coughing, Kharl pulled himself upright and managed to find his way into his seat.

"I think…I think we'd better start this session now," the Yokai stated, feeling slightly nauseous.

"And just _what,_" Alfeegi demanded, finally breaking out of a numbed daze, "Have you decided we all have? What kind of loonies are we all?"

"Well," the alchemist said, making himself comfortable in his chair, "You all have troubles in love department, of course! And you are here to receive help from non other than a specialist in that department: KHARL THE RENKIN WIZARD, that's me, SHALL SEND YOU DOWN THE RIGHT ROAD OF HAPPINESS AND UNDERSTANDING WTH YOUR PARTNERS! Let's start with you two!"

Everyone followed the Yokai's finger to where it pointed to: at Lamgarnas and Gil, who had been siting silently on the couch since the beginning of the counseling session.

"You two love-birds have been awfully quiet," Kharl said, stating the obvious, "And I think it's time to speak up and join our merry company in telling us how your relationship is going!"

There was no response from the two and the alchemist sweatdropped.

"Now, now," he chided, "Don't be shy. Everyone here's already had their share of humiliation, remember? First, Lady Raseleane, in showing her appalling gluttonous side with selfish wants of inanimate objects and her vindictive streak in flaunting around what others do not have in their faces-"

"I'm a Queen!" Raseleane defended herself, "I can't help it if being all goody-goody and selfless gets a little drab! And Lykie-poo doesn't mind at all, does he?"

The Dragon Lord drew the Dragon Queen close to his chest and growled, "This side of you, which I seldom see, makes me most intrigued! Grrrrr!"

Garfakcy's face turned as green as his hair, and the servant turned his face away just in time not to see the Dragon Lord bite his wife's neck.

Kharl continued, sweatdropping along with everyone else, "Ahem, yes, and we've also seen Reema's childish act which can put strain on her and Alfeegi's relationship as she is sorely lacking in the maturity department-"

"But being childish makes me cute!" Reema protested, hopping up and down, "And being cute makes Alfeegi attracted to me! Right?"

The White Dragon Officer gazed into the small girl's huge blue eyes and discovered his heart was beating faster and his mouth felt glued together.

"R-right," he managed to croak out, his face turning quite red, "I like her cute!"

Reema burst out into delighted giggles and Alfeegi found himself smiling also.

There was a _POOF! _and Duma stood before him again.

"Don't get any ideas," he warned in a deeply ominous, monotone voice and made a slashing sign with his hand before disappearing with another _POOF!_

A cold breeze somehow found its way in the room and sent shivers down everyone's back.

"Ah, ah, y-y-yes-s," Kharl started, his hands nervously clutching the arm-rests of his chair, "S-s-o, as y-you c-can t-t-tell, ev-v-ryone h-has t-their o-own p-problems-s!"

There was a brief pause before Lamgarnas finally voiced out loud, "Gil doesn't like the pet names I call him."

"Lamy!" Gil yelped in embarrassment.

"See?" the older Yokai addressed to the therapist, "He doesn't expect me not to mind his nickname for me, but I'll be honest. It makes me feel like I'm that fluffy white creature in that stupid nursery rhyme, 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'!"

"You never told me you didn't like it!" Gil accused.

"Well I don't!" Lamgarnas said firmly, "And I don't see why you don't like catty-whatty!"

"LAMY!" Gil shouted, not wanting everyone to hear.

"There you go again with the lamb thing," Lamgarnas sighed.

"Lamy is cute," Gil gritted out, eyes narrowing into slits and claws coming out, "And catty-whatty is worse than kitty-kins!"

"I like kitty-kins!" Lamgarnas protested, not realizing his significant other was slipping into Demon Cat Mode, "Why must you be so difficult? Do you know how many hours it took for me to come up with those names?"

"AND YOU COULDN'T THINK UP SOMETHING BETTER?" Gil shrieked, his voice deepening and his hair growing longer.

"I mean why can't you use the other half of my name to call me something?" Lamgarnas went on, still not noticing the younger Yokai's change, "Like Garny. Nah, that reminds me of a garden and that's too girly for me. I would say Nasy, but then that sounds like nasal and my voice isn't that high. Hmmm, this is harder than I thought."

Meanwhile, Gil continued to morph into his larger, more violent half and everyone in the room was subtly backing away from him and his oblivious lover.

"Er, Mr. Lamgarnas-san," Raseleane spoke, "Perhaps you'd better stop talking and look at Gil."

"Eh?" Lamgarnas said, blinking in puzzlement at her, before turning around to see Gil almost fully transformed.

Everyone tensed, expecting Lamgarnas to run off screaming or be horribly mauled, but instead what happened was very strange.

"Don't you hurt this cute little nose," Lamgarnas sang, taking hold of Gil's and shaking it teasingly, "Because this cute little nose," here he bent close and planted a kiss on it, "Is aaaaaaall…mine!"

There was a moment of silence, before Gil blinked and rapidly de-morphed into his usual appearance and size.

"I'm sorry, Lamy, I _do_ like catty-whatty and kitty-kins," Gil stated and buried his head into the other's chest, purring.

"I'm sorry too. Lamy is fine," Lamgarnas said, rubbing the top of the younger Yokai's head and asking in a silky smooth voice, "Who's a _good_ ickle kitty-kins?"

Gil began meowing.

Needless to say, everyone was drenched in sweat by now.

"How the heck do you diagnose that?" Garfakcy asked Kharl, his head reeling "Master?"

For Kharl was staring the two Yokai cuddled together on the couch, his eyes slightly glazed over, before he suddenly sprang awake and shouted gleefully.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! AT LAST! THE KEY FROM GETTING PAST HATE TO LOVE! OH, MY BELOVED, YOUR DEFIANCE SHALL NOT LAST MUCH LONGER! Now how did that song go again?" the alchemist began hurriedly jotting down lines on his notepad.

Garfakcy stole Reema's mallet and gave the Yokai a colossal _CONG! _on the head.

"QUIT SIDETRACKING AND GET ON WITH THE SESSION!" the servant screamed, numerous veins popped out on his head.

_"H-hai!"_ Kharl squeaked from his position on the floor, seeing stars.

After a couple of minutes, when everyone had resumed their seats and Kharl had taken six Advils, the alchemist continued on with his "therapy".

"Yes, well, we have all seen what your relationships are like now, but it is also importamt to know how they started and how you have gotten along since then. After all, relationships are not only in the present, but in the past and future as well!" the alchemist stated, "How about you, Your Majesties?"

"OOH, IT WAS SO ROMANTIC!" Raseleane squealed, "There I was in Draqueen, a lonely young girl with only a horrible stepmother and two ugly stepsisters for company. Then Lykie-poo had the marvelous idea of having a ball and inviting the whole capitol so he could find his future bride! Well, my horrible stepmother and two ugly stepsisters forbade me to go, so I drugged their drinks which put them to sleep and also turned them into mothballs for a couple of hours. Then since it was late and everyone was already at the ball, I broke into a local dress shop and pieced together an outfit so no one would recognize where I got it. Then I lassoed a passing Durna and rode to the Palace on it. I made sure I timed my entrance just right so everyone would notice me, and Lykie-poo did. But he was so shy, that he couldn't get up the nerve to talk to me. So I had to flirt with one of his Dragon Knights to get his attention. Unfortunately, the one I flirted with was Nadil, as he was the Dragon Knight of Wind back then. I guess you can say, that I was responsible for his obsessive crush on me and his betraying Lykuleon because he couldn't have me. But what can I say? When you got it, you got it! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Sweatdrops appeared on everyone's forehead.

"Well," Kharl stated, trying to find the best in the situation, "That does explain several things. However, does this revelation change your feelings in any way, Your Highness?"

Lykuleon was gaping at Raseleane, astonished.

"You did all that?" he questioned amazed, "WHAT A WOMAN!"

He kissed her deeply, only pulling apart long enough to say, "Rasie-bear, after this session, let's go and snog each other senseless in front of Pickle-Dilly, kay?"

"OH, LYKIE-POO!" the Draqueen shrieked excitedly, "WHAT A MARVELOUSLY, FIENDISH IDEA! HEHEHEHE! And to make things doubly devious, let's suggest that Rath and Cesia do the same!"

There was an abrupt gigantic explosion of ash just then.

Everyone jumped and looked over to where the Yokai was standing in the midst of violently swirling ash clouds, after he had leapt out of his seat.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Kharl raged, frothing at the mouth, "I FORBID IT! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST SUCH A THING! IF THAT LITTLE WIND DEMON TART PUTS HER TONSILS ANYWHERE NEAR MY BELOV-er, the Fire Dragon Knight's-THERE WILL BE_ HELL _TO PAY!"

The room's occupant's blinked at him.

"But whyyyyyyyyy?" Raseleane whined, a bit sulky because not getting her way.

"BECAUSE! THAT'S WHY!" Kharl seethed, turning purple in fury.

"You're meeeeeeean!" the Dragon Queen drawled, "Lykie, we don't have to listen to him, right? You can over-rule him, right?"

"Of course he can," Alfeegi scoffed, "He's the Dragon Lord!"

"NO!" the alchemist yelped, trying to think of a logical excuse to deny Raseleane's request, "They can't snog each other senseless in front of His Almighty Demonishness because neither of them has been in one of my counseling sessions and until then, they shouldn't do anything rash that will provoke people like Lord Dilly!"

"He's got a point, Rasie-bear," Lykuleon stated.

The Dragon Queen pouted, sticking out a puffy lower lip.

"Oh, Rasie-bear, you look absolutely delicious like that!" the Dragon Lord said throatily.

Raseleane broke out into a mad batch of giggles.

"Someone just kill me," Garfakcy muttered, retreating into a safe corner, away from the crazy, twitter-pated couples.

"And how about you two?" Kharl inquired of Alfeegi and Reema, inwardly pleased that his explanation had been bought.

"I met Alfeegi when he and the Dragon Lord were on a journey!" Reema exclaimed merrily, "Ah, it was love at first sight!"

"What do you mean 'first sight'?" Alfeegi inquired, "I was the only one who could see you!"

"Yes! Because I am the Faerie of Death and only those who are going to die can see me, silly!" Reema tutted, tapping her finger on the White Dragon Officer's nose.

"Of course," Kharl waved her on, wanting this session to be over, to make sure his beloved and that sly chit would not go through with Raseleane's previous plan, "Go on. You…eh…what's that about people dying who can see you?"

The Yokai stared hard at the small girl.

She stared back hard too.

Then…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME! I'M TOO YOUNG AND FULL OF LIFE! WHAT ABOUT MY BELOVED! I CAN'T LEAVE HIM BEHIND ALL ALONE AND DEFENSELESS AT THE WHIM OF SOME PERSON WITH AN ALTER EGO! WAH!"

"Dummy!" Reema cried, whacking the therapist in the head with her mallet, "Everyone in here has seen me besides you, so don't be the only person concerned about dying! And about that, yes, everyone in here is going die…someday! It could be years from now! YEESH! Get a grip, you're supposed to be the man consoling people, not the other way around!"

Kharl pulled hmself together and downed six more Advils.

"So," he sniffed out, "We 're not gonna all take the Long Walk anytime soon?"

"No!" Reema explained again, rolling her eyes, "Although I 'd like to take a long walk out of this room right now!"

"Let me make you feel better," Alfeegi said, placing a chaste kiss on the girl's forehead.

"HEEHEEHEE!" Reema giggled, her cheeks blushing pink, "Now one on the mouth!"

_POOF! _

"Really, Reema!" scolded Duma, "Control yourself! Stop encouraging him!"

"QUIT INTERRUPTING MY PERSONAL LIFE!" the small girl screamed, "IF ITS MY PRESENT FORM, YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT, THEN I'LL CHANGE!"

_POOF!_

In the place of a small girl was a tall beautiful woman with long purple locks and dazzling blue eyes.

Alfeegi was aware of his jaw hanging open.

"Like what you see?" the woman smiled, "No more chibi form!"

"But," Alfeegi protested, "I like your chibi form!"

"I know, dear Alfeegi," the woman said, "But really, it's not the best shape to-"

She bent down and whispered something in the man's ear.

The White Dragon Officer's face turned as the color of ripe tomato.

"You can go now, Duma," Reema addressed her guardian, "I think I can look after myself in this appearance."

Duma bowed and with disappeared with a _POOF!_

"Alfeegi-sama," Reema said emploringly, "I wanna a pet name too!"

"How about Re-Re?" Alfeegi suggested, beaming at her.

"OH, THAT'S ADORABLE!" the grown-up version of Reema squealed, "AND I SHALL CALL YOU _'FEEGI_!"

And the woman mussed up the White Dragon Officer's hair and tittered.

There was an unanimous in take of breath as everyone's eyes bugged out of their sockets and waited for Alfeegi to vemonously explode at the use of the dreaded nickname.

"T-T-That's," Alfeegi stuttered, "L-L-Lovely," he finally got out.

And the man gritted his teeth together and smiled, strands of hair sticking out on his head and numerous veins popped out.

"Note to self," Kharl scribbled down in his pad, "Think up pet-name for beloved."

The Yokai was whacked in the head with Reema's mallet for the third time that session.

"I GOTTA PET NAME FOR HIM!" Garfakcy seethed, "CLUELESS, SUICIDAL, CHILDISH _ROAD-KILL_!"

After Kharl had taken his third dose of Advil and began feeling quite light-headed, he turned to the last couple.

"And howsh 'bout youse?" the Yokai slurred, seeing double.

"Well, you see, catty-whatty here was being held prisoner by Shydy and his gang, and I was his knight in shining white armor who rescued him," Lamgarnas explained, "Isn't that right, Gil?"

Gil was smiling with an expression much like that of a crocodile about to prey upon a meal, "Actually, Lamy, I've waited the whole session for this question. You know how I told you that I was turned into a demon not by Shydeman but another Yokai?"

"Yeah?" Lamgarnas said, as to where the conversation was going.

"Well…HE'S THE ONE WHO DID THAT!" Gil cried triumphantly, pointing at the over-drugged Kharl.

"Crud," the alchemist stated to himself, "I knewsh I hadsh a reesun for not wuntin' da kat in heresh!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE MY KITTY-KINS SUFFER?" Lamgarnas raged, "I SHALL EXACT MY VENGEANCE ON YOU!"

And Reema's mallet was picked up once again.

"WAH!" Kharl shrieked, racing about the room, with a furious Lamgarnas on his trail, "SHTOP! SHTOP! I HASH A BELUVED TOOSH! HE NEEDSH ME! I PWOMISH TO NEVAH MAKE ANUTHER DEMUN AGIN!"

"LAMY! LET ME USE HIM AS MY NEW SHARPENING POST!" Gil exclaimed, before transforming into his Demon Cat form and joining in the chase.

"Oh, Lykie-poo, this is just like watching a bull fight!" Raseleane clapped her hands in ecstasy, "Get me some popcorn, would you?"

"'Feegi, let's go to the kitchen and make chocolate chip cookies!" Reema ordered, changing back into her chibi form.

"O-OKAY," Alfeegi agreed, fists clenched tightly, his head growing even more veins as the small girl continued to use his hated nickname.

"Serves Master right," Garfakcy smirked at the sight of Kharl racing around in circles by the two other Yokai, "That ought to teach him he can't get far with that stupid Dragon Knight without his significant other barging in!"

And the servant skipped out of the room to make good on the Dragon Queen's earlier suggestion of Rath and Cesia snogging each other senseless in front of His Almighty Demonishness.

**TO BE CONTINUED... **

* * *

**A/N: OK, I'll be honest. Kai-stern really won (by like TWO votes), but when I tried to write him, my mind switched to this scenario. But never worry. Kai-stern will be in the next chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed this! Did I surprise you with Alfeegi and Reema? I thought it was a nice touch! But my favorite pair to write was Lykie-poo and Rasie-bear! I hope I didn't make Gil too OOC. I know he's a lot more aggressive than he usually is, but if you look in Vol. 8, he almost parallels this chapter! OK, next chapter, Kai-stern (along with a few surprise characters). Please share your fav parts, thanx!**

**(1) Reeses Peanut Butter Cups are owned by Hershey Industries.**

** (2) Kharl's imaginary scene is an obvious parody of William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.  
**


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